1 00:00:03,109 --> 00:00:23,009 Created By Anysubtitle.com 2 00:00:24,833 --> 00:00:26,833 ["Home For The Holidays" playing] 3 00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:39,333 ♪ Oh there's no place like home For the holidays ♪ 4 00:00:40,125 --> 00:00:46,083 ♪ 'Cause no matter How far away you roam ♪ 5 00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:48,125 -[woman] Merry Christmas. -Merry Christmas. 6 00:00:48,208 --> 00:00:53,708 [on radio] ♪ …Pine for the sunshine Of a friendly gaze ♪ 7 00:00:54,916 --> 00:00:59,583 ♪ For the holidays, you can't beat home Sweet home ♪ 8 00:00:59,666 --> 00:01:00,500 [scoffs] 9 00:01:00,583 --> 00:01:02,000 [chattering] 10 00:01:03,125 --> 00:01:06,458 [male agent] And our kitchen connects to a little dining room right over there. 11 00:01:06,541 --> 00:01:08,666 Now you mentioned you wanted an open concept. 12 00:01:08,750 --> 00:01:11,833 -Cool, I am obsessed with open concept. -Yes. [chuckles] 13 00:01:11,916 --> 00:01:13,833 Open is my favorite concept. 14 00:01:13,916 --> 00:01:16,875 Well, here they are, Pam and Jeff McKenzie, the owners. 15 00:01:16,958 --> 00:01:19,958 I was just telling the Breckins that they could probably knock down 16 00:01:20,041 --> 00:01:23,333 some of these walls and make it one, big, open space. 17 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:25,375 -Not mad at that. [laughs] -Yes. 18 00:01:25,458 --> 00:01:27,208 Well, you just wanna be careful, 19 00:01:27,291 --> 00:01:30,083 'cause if those are load-baring walls and you knock one down, 20 00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:31,625 the whole place could collapse. 21 00:01:31,708 --> 00:01:32,916 -Mmm. Bummer. -Really? 22 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:36,000 Um, it's not a Jenga tower, Jeff. 23 00:01:37,250 --> 00:01:39,458 [laughing] It's not a Jenga tower, Jeff. 24 00:01:40,458 --> 00:01:43,583 And Pam is a teacher at Winnetka Elementary. 25 00:01:43,666 --> 00:01:46,291 Am I right? Yes. The schools here are amazing. 26 00:01:47,083 --> 00:01:48,458 Correct, Jeff? 27 00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:53,791 Um, yeah. Some of the best in the state. They are totally lit. 28 00:01:54,291 --> 00:01:55,500 -Aw. -Oh. [chuckles] 29 00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:58,541 Especially since they put in new metal detectors. 30 00:01:59,166 --> 00:02:00,666 -Oh. -Okay. 31 00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:02,750 Jeff. What are you doing? 32 00:02:02,833 --> 00:02:04,208 Uh, Jeff, uh, 33 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:07,041 could you go get some more bottled water to everyone. 34 00:02:07,125 --> 00:02:08,333 Yep. 35 00:02:11,208 --> 00:02:12,875 Can you get some more bottled water? 36 00:02:12,958 --> 00:02:14,666 Ooh. Mm-hmm. Yep. 37 00:02:15,458 --> 00:02:17,375 [scoffs] Jeff. 38 00:02:17,458 --> 00:02:21,541 -[boy] Mum, I really have to pee. -I cannot believe you need to go again. 39 00:02:21,625 --> 00:02:24,125 I told you to use the restroom in the coffee shop. 40 00:02:24,208 --> 00:02:27,041 After Uncle Stu had been in there? Really? 41 00:02:27,125 --> 00:02:29,708 Did you see how many deviled eggs he had for lunch? 42 00:02:29,791 --> 00:02:31,500 Oh, goodness. Um. 43 00:02:31,583 --> 00:02:33,500 You'll just have to wait till we get home. 44 00:02:33,583 --> 00:02:35,750 You sure about that? Do the maths. 45 00:02:35,833 --> 00:02:40,666 Six soda refills into one, tiny, ten-year-old's bladder does not go. 46 00:02:40,750 --> 00:02:42,250 I'm-- [sighs] 47 00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:43,958 [groaning] 48 00:02:44,041 --> 00:02:45,041 [sighs] 49 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:50,333 -Okay. I've got an idea. -What? 50 00:02:50,416 --> 00:02:52,333 You're gonna have to pretend with Mummy. 51 00:02:52,416 --> 00:02:55,041 We're gonna have to pretend we're going to buy a house. 52 00:02:56,708 --> 00:02:58,416 [toilet flushes] 53 00:03:02,833 --> 00:03:04,833 Ooh! Can I get one of those? 54 00:03:04,916 --> 00:03:07,041 Uh, that might be a question for your parents, 55 00:03:07,125 --> 00:03:09,125 just 'cause there's a lot of sugar in them, so… 56 00:03:09,208 --> 00:03:10,208 Oh. Fine. 57 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:14,416 Wow, you're so tall. You almost look like Frankenstein. 58 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:19,125 Oh, you mean Frankenstein's monster. Frankenstein is the doctor, FYI. 59 00:03:19,625 --> 00:03:20,833 [grunts] 60 00:03:20,916 --> 00:03:23,833 Uh. Cool dolls. 61 00:03:23,916 --> 00:03:26,541 [chuckles] Well, they're not mine. 62 00:03:26,625 --> 00:03:28,416 Um. They belonged to my mother. 63 00:03:29,583 --> 00:03:30,416 Sure they did. 64 00:03:31,375 --> 00:03:33,958 Oh! What's wrong with this one? 65 00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:36,000 Yeah, I don't know. 66 00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:40,750 But they're very delicate, so why don't we just leave them right there. 67 00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:43,500 Oh. Little boy doesn't wanna share his dolly? 68 00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:45,375 Excuse me? 69 00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:47,916 Ah, I get it. You're one of those guys. 70 00:03:48,666 --> 00:03:50,916 -What do you mean? -I don't know. You tell me. 71 00:03:51,625 --> 00:03:53,500 -There you are. -Oh! Hi, Mom. 72 00:03:53,583 --> 00:03:55,625 Doesn't he look like Frankenstein to you? 73 00:03:56,333 --> 00:03:59,166 I-- Max. I am so sorry. 74 00:03:59,250 --> 00:04:01,625 No, he doesn't look like Frankenstein. 75 00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:03,750 He looks like Frankenstein's monster. 76 00:04:03,833 --> 00:04:05,666 I'm sorry. Has he been bothering you? 77 00:04:05,750 --> 00:04:07,541 No. He's a delight. 78 00:04:08,083 --> 00:04:09,875 Aw, well, he has his moments. 79 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:12,208 Ooh! Is that a Schneider Kinder? 80 00:04:12,291 --> 00:04:15,791 I saw these on Treasure Trunk , that antiques show. I love that show. 81 00:04:16,916 --> 00:04:21,583 There was this elderly lady who'd bought one at a garage sale for about $10. 82 00:04:21,666 --> 00:04:24,208 And then it ended up going for about $5,000. 83 00:04:24,291 --> 00:04:28,083 Wow, 5,000 bucks for an ugly, little porcelain kid. 84 00:04:28,625 --> 00:04:31,208 I didn't get half that for selling my real kids. 85 00:04:31,291 --> 00:04:32,208 [groans] 86 00:04:32,291 --> 00:04:33,333 [chuckles] 87 00:04:34,416 --> 00:04:35,416 Yeah? 88 00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:37,541 -I think we should go home. -Oh, yay. 89 00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:42,458 I can't wait to go home and share one toilet with nine bloomin' cousins. 90 00:04:42,541 --> 00:04:45,625 Maxwell Johan Mercer. What is with you today, hmm? 91 00:04:45,708 --> 00:04:47,916 Carol Ellen Mercer, take a guess? 92 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,833 You know what? How's about we just spend Christmas in Tokyo without you? 93 00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:54,291 -Great idea. -[Carol] I'll leave Grammy with you. 94 00:04:54,375 --> 00:04:56,833 -[Max] Oh, yes, Grammy. -[Carol] Then you'll have to go to bed 95 00:04:56,916 --> 00:04:59,208 at 6:00 p.m. every evening and help her with her bath. 96 00:04:59,291 --> 00:05:01,791 Oh, that sounds great. Where do I sign up? 97 00:05:02,875 --> 00:05:04,916 No McDonald's for you on the way home. 98 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,375 What? Mum. 99 00:05:07,041 --> 00:05:09,416 You can't promise a kid McDonald's and not deliver. 100 00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,916 Ooh. 101 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,500 What a McShame. 102 00:05:14,708 --> 00:05:15,708 [sighs] 103 00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:18,291 [drink lid pops] 104 00:05:21,916 --> 00:05:24,000 Ooh. That's good. 105 00:05:26,375 --> 00:05:28,958 -[grunts] -Darling, home. Car. Now. Come on. 106 00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:44,583 I'm sorry I lashed out at you, but I just don't see why 107 00:05:44,666 --> 00:05:47,750 we have to share our house with every stupid relative we have. 108 00:05:47,833 --> 00:05:49,541 I mean, it's Christmas. 109 00:05:49,625 --> 00:05:52,875 Exactly, and Christmas is all about spending time with family. 110 00:05:53,916 --> 00:05:57,458 Even if everything they do makes you anxious or furious and insane. 111 00:05:58,708 --> 00:06:00,791 Because that is the meaning of Christmas. 112 00:06:01,375 --> 00:06:02,208 [sighs] 113 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,083 [chuckles] 114 00:06:08,416 --> 00:06:10,833 All right, McKenzies. We have chummed the-- 115 00:06:11,333 --> 00:06:14,958 Chummed the waters. And I think we've gotten a couple of nibbles. 116 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,416 Now I know you guys wanna sell as soon as possible, 117 00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:19,750 but I don't think we're gonna get any major bites 118 00:06:19,833 --> 00:06:21,333 until after the holiday season. 119 00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:23,250 I don't know. 120 00:06:23,333 --> 00:06:27,458 The guy Jeff saw looking through my underwear drawer seemed interested, no? 121 00:06:28,208 --> 00:06:31,750 Yes, but I don't think in buying the house. But don't worry. 122 00:06:31,833 --> 00:06:35,000 The Breckins are circling the boat, so I'll stay on top of them. 123 00:06:35,541 --> 00:06:36,875 [vehicle honks, laughing] 124 00:06:37,416 --> 00:06:38,583 The kids are home. 125 00:06:39,208 --> 00:06:41,791 What's happening? Why are we scared of the kids? 126 00:06:41,875 --> 00:06:43,708 We haven't told them we're selling the house. 127 00:06:47,125 --> 00:06:48,458 Hey! 128 00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:49,958 Oh, hi. 129 00:06:50,583 --> 00:06:53,416 Hi, guys. I thought you were gonna call after the movie was over. 130 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,625 Oh, no, we just took an Uber. 131 00:06:58,916 --> 00:07:00,458 -You good? -Oh, yeah. 132 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,916 Yeah, I'm doing some thinking, you know? 133 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,416 This is a very good spot for thinking. 134 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,000 Hmm. 135 00:07:08,916 --> 00:07:10,916 -Mm-hmm. -Mm-hmm. 136 00:07:11,541 --> 00:07:13,791 -I love this space. -Oh. 137 00:07:14,291 --> 00:07:15,416 Who are you? 138 00:07:16,416 --> 00:07:20,166 -I'm, uh-- -This is Gavin. And he is, um-- 139 00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:21,833 Your personal trainer. That-- Yes. 140 00:07:21,916 --> 00:07:25,708 -I'm gonna be training your flabby dad. -Hmm? 141 00:07:26,291 --> 00:07:27,125 Balloons? 142 00:07:27,208 --> 00:07:30,666 These are a gesture to say congratulations for taking your first step. 143 00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:33,041 Congratulations, man. You got to take care of yourself. 144 00:07:33,125 --> 00:07:35,583 We're gonna get rid of that jelly belly, Dad. Am I right? 145 00:07:35,666 --> 00:07:37,333 Get rid of the jelly belly. 146 00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:40,000 We're gonna put some muscle on that flat, pancake butt. 147 00:07:40,083 --> 00:07:41,791 -Thank you, Gavin. -Yeah. 148 00:07:41,875 --> 00:07:44,958 I'm just gonna take off real quick, and I'm gonna see y'all later. 149 00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:47,375 And I'm looking forward to that butt. 150 00:07:48,541 --> 00:07:50,375 [children shouting, chattering] 151 00:07:52,583 --> 00:07:53,583 [man shouts] 152 00:07:53,666 --> 00:07:54,625 [children arguing] 153 00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:57,958 -Can I have a go? Can I have a go? -You do it! 154 00:07:58,041 --> 00:07:59,625 -Please? -No, you! 155 00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:02,625 -Please, just one quick go. -[shrieks] Ow! 156 00:08:03,291 --> 00:08:06,625 -Max, clean up all this crap right now. -Sorry, Dad. 157 00:08:06,708 --> 00:08:07,958 I just stepped on a Lego. 158 00:08:08,041 --> 00:08:10,250 It's the most painful thing in the world. 159 00:08:10,750 --> 00:08:13,083 -[video game blasting] -[boy] I'm winning over here. 160 00:08:13,166 --> 00:08:15,250 -[TV blaring] -[children squealing] 161 00:08:15,333 --> 00:08:19,166 I understand that our flight was canceled and rebooked. 162 00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:22,666 No, my problem is that you have split our family onto two separate flights. 163 00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:23,750 [children arguing] 164 00:08:23,833 --> 00:08:26,916 I'm sorry, can you speak up, please? It's very loud in here. 165 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,666 [boy 2] You can never catch me. Jerk! 166 00:08:30,166 --> 00:08:31,750 -[distant screaming] -[grunts] 167 00:08:31,833 --> 00:08:34,041 Don't touch me, perv. I'm your sister. 168 00:08:34,125 --> 00:08:35,166 [children screaming] 169 00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:39,750 -Homebot, what year is it in Japan? -[machine beeps] 170 00:08:39,833 --> 00:08:41,583 [Homebot speaking German] 171 00:08:41,666 --> 00:08:44,666 Guys, seriously, who keeps swapping the Homebot to German? 172 00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:46,583 -Hey! -Homebot, nein! Nein! 173 00:08:46,666 --> 00:08:47,666 Ha ha! 174 00:08:47,750 --> 00:08:50,125 -Guys, Homebot is not a toy-- -[toy gun rattling] 175 00:08:50,208 --> 00:08:53,291 No, no, stop! Stop it! Homebot is not a toy! 176 00:08:53,375 --> 00:08:55,125 I'm sick of this bullsh-- 177 00:08:58,041 --> 00:09:01,875 We don't have to tell Santa about that, right, Goobie? 178 00:09:02,541 --> 00:09:04,916 -[children yelling] -You need to project when you speak. 179 00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:08,416 -Sir, I am not taking a tone with you. -Mum. 180 00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:12,625 I'm simply saying that you have put me on a different flight to my children. 181 00:09:12,708 --> 00:09:14,500 -Mum. -The computer won't let you? 182 00:09:14,583 --> 00:09:17,000 -What is the computer? Is it God? -[man] Guys, guys-- 183 00:09:17,083 --> 00:09:19,750 -Mum. Mum! -[man] Guess what? Spanking's on the menu! 184 00:09:19,833 --> 00:09:23,541 Max, please! You are not the only person in this house, darling. 185 00:09:24,750 --> 00:09:25,916 I wish I was. 186 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,958 Boys, don't make me run. I have tendinitis. 187 00:09:29,041 --> 00:09:30,333 Move, Max. 188 00:09:30,416 --> 00:09:33,041 -Lay down your arms! -[Carol] Americans, please! 189 00:09:33,125 --> 00:09:35,250 [children shrieking] 190 00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:36,958 -[sighs] -[Carol] Pizza! Lovely. 191 00:09:37,041 --> 00:09:39,291 -How many do you have? -Three pepperonis and three pineapples. 192 00:09:39,375 --> 00:09:41,041 -Let's just get-- -Everybody loves pineapple. 193 00:09:41,125 --> 00:09:43,333 [woman] I've still gotta do some packing and some laundry. 194 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,208 [Carol] Everybody, pizza! 195 00:09:45,291 --> 00:09:49,916 Can you come and eat, please? Seriously. We're gonna be up at 5:00 a.m. 196 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,583 [faintly] Stop, please! 197 00:09:51,666 --> 00:09:53,666 [Carol and children arguing] 198 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,041 [Carol] Stop. You'll break your neck. And look at your suitcases. 199 00:10:02,083 --> 00:10:03,333 [sighs] 200 00:10:17,625 --> 00:10:19,208 -[crashing] -[chuckling] 201 00:10:19,291 --> 00:10:21,875 We expect major, major delays at the airport. 202 00:10:21,958 --> 00:10:24,333 We don't know when O'Hare is gonna be able to get back… 203 00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:26,625 What was that today? Metal detectors? 204 00:10:26,708 --> 00:10:31,000 What? They have them. I'm sorry. Is that not "lit"? 205 00:10:31,083 --> 00:10:34,958 Okay, we are trying to sell the house, Jeff. 206 00:10:35,041 --> 00:10:37,250 You're the one who said it's our only option, 207 00:10:37,333 --> 00:10:39,166 so I need you on my team, okay? 208 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,291 I know. I know. I just-- 209 00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:46,666 Today, it felt real, and I didn't like it. 210 00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:48,208 You think I do? 211 00:10:48,291 --> 00:10:51,166 I always thought we'd get old and weird in this house. 212 00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,500 We've done the math. We can't afford it on my salary alone. 213 00:10:53,583 --> 00:10:56,375 Yeah, but I crushed my interview with IBM. 214 00:10:56,458 --> 00:10:59,083 You crushed it. Crushed it! 215 00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,541 But that was three months ago. 216 00:11:01,625 --> 00:11:05,958 Any company with a brain needs a good data migration manager, okay? 217 00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:08,791 I wouldn't trust an algorithm to port over a MySQL database 218 00:11:08,875 --> 00:11:11,208 to a new server without any human oversight. 219 00:11:12,958 --> 00:11:14,708 -[sighs] -Me neither. 220 00:11:15,541 --> 00:11:18,375 But it might take a while to find another job. 221 00:11:18,458 --> 00:11:21,666 You said it yourself. The data migration boom is over. 222 00:11:22,958 --> 00:11:24,125 It's the cloud. 223 00:11:25,541 --> 00:11:26,625 The cloud. 224 00:11:28,041 --> 00:11:31,333 So I need you to get on board, okay? 225 00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:35,250 Come on. It's our last Christmas here. 226 00:11:35,333 --> 00:11:37,333 Let's try to enjoy it. 227 00:11:40,208 --> 00:11:42,583 Tons of fun. 228 00:11:42,666 --> 00:11:43,916 [blows raspberry] 229 00:11:44,666 --> 00:11:46,208 [snoring softly] 230 00:11:47,125 --> 00:11:49,291 [phone ringing] 231 00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,125 [snoring continues] 232 00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,333 [phone vibrating] 233 00:11:59,083 --> 00:12:00,708 [grumbles] 234 00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:05,750 Hunter? 235 00:12:05,833 --> 00:12:10,000 [Hunter] Hey, Pama-lama-ding-dong! Guess what? We're outside! 236 00:12:10,083 --> 00:12:11,541 [line disconnects] 237 00:12:12,458 --> 00:12:14,083 -Get up. -[groans] Queen Latifah. 238 00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:16,125 -Get up. Your brother's here. -[grunts] 239 00:12:16,208 --> 00:12:17,625 [groans] 240 00:12:17,708 --> 00:12:18,708 God. 241 00:12:24,708 --> 00:12:25,541 [horn honks] 242 00:12:25,625 --> 00:12:27,125 [sighs] 243 00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:32,500 [groans] Damn it. 244 00:12:34,625 --> 00:12:36,041 Gosh, I miss the snow! 245 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,875 -Hey. What are you doing-- -Doing here? 246 00:12:39,958 --> 00:12:42,833 We flew in early to get ahead of snowpocalypse or whatever. 247 00:12:42,916 --> 00:12:44,500 Snowmageddon. 248 00:12:44,583 --> 00:12:46,416 Snowpocalypse is better. 249 00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:48,666 Hey, babe. Hurry up. 250 00:12:49,833 --> 00:12:51,333 -Coming, baby! -Who's that? Aah. 251 00:12:51,416 --> 00:12:53,416 Pamuel L. Jackson! Bring it in. 252 00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,000 Hi, Hunter. Hi. 253 00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:57,666 Here she is! 254 00:12:58,375 --> 00:13:00,250 -[woman gasps] -[Hunter] Oh. Careful. 255 00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:12,375 -Okay! Hey. -Oh! 256 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:15,458 Oh, we would've called, but we thought it would be fun to surprise you. 257 00:13:15,541 --> 00:13:16,625 -Yeah. -Are you surprised? 258 00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:19,125 We are surprised. We're very surprised. 259 00:13:19,208 --> 00:13:20,666 I know. It's so cute here. 260 00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:22,750 -[girl] Aunt Mei! -So quaint-- Hi! 261 00:13:22,833 --> 00:13:23,833 Hi, my adorables. 262 00:13:23,916 --> 00:13:25,541 I didn't think you were coming till tomorrow. 263 00:13:25,625 --> 00:13:26,625 I'm here now. 264 00:13:26,708 --> 00:13:30,333 We all thought she was coming tomorrow, but she's come in the dead of night. 265 00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:32,833 -Hey, Ollie, look who it is. -[music playing] 266 00:13:32,916 --> 00:13:36,333 -It's Uncle Jeff. Hey. [laughs] -Hey, buddy! 267 00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,125 -Ollie, look! Snow! -[Ollie coughing] 268 00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:40,250 Good to see you, buddy. 269 00:13:40,333 --> 00:13:41,875 He has gotten so big. 270 00:13:41,958 --> 00:13:43,250 Okay! 271 00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:45,541 Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. 272 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:48,458 It's the last one. It's the last one. I promise, okay? 273 00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:50,333 That's enough. 274 00:13:50,416 --> 00:13:53,166 Mind giving our luggage a tuggage? I wanna get that guy situated. 275 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,583 [Jeff sighs] 276 00:13:58,416 --> 00:13:59,541 Wow. 277 00:14:00,416 --> 00:14:01,958 Yeah, we had a great year. 278 00:14:03,166 --> 00:14:05,125 Oh, great arm, buddy! 279 00:14:05,208 --> 00:14:07,750 -Ollie, that is not a toy. -I'll get it. 280 00:14:07,833 --> 00:14:09,166 [speaking Spanish] 281 00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:12,041 We're teaching him Spanish! 282 00:14:12,125 --> 00:14:14,500 What did I tell you about taking other people's stuff? 283 00:14:14,583 --> 00:14:17,916 -Where do you have us set up? -Oh, in the den on the pullout. 284 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,791 [laughs] Okay. In the den on the pullout. Yeah, okay. 285 00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,916 Wow, that lady wasn't kidding. 286 00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:50,208 What? 287 00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:06,041 -[doll cries] -What-- Where is it? 288 00:15:07,666 --> 00:15:09,125 [panting] 289 00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:15,666 That brat kid stole my doll. My mom's doll. 290 00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:18,375 [sighs] 291 00:15:19,291 --> 00:15:20,666 How am I gonna find this kid? 292 00:15:21,583 --> 00:15:23,291 Maxwell Johan Mercer. 293 00:15:23,375 --> 00:15:24,833 Carol Ellen Mercer. 294 00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:27,208 Bingo. 295 00:15:40,083 --> 00:15:42,458 [woman through GPS] You have arrived at your destination. 296 00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:44,708 [man] Get in the car! 297 00:15:45,333 --> 00:15:48,875 You need to get in a car now. We are so late. You have no idea. 298 00:15:48,958 --> 00:15:51,083 -[boy] Gotcha! -What was that for? 299 00:15:51,166 --> 00:15:52,583 -[man] I legit might cry right now. -Don't! 300 00:15:52,666 --> 00:15:54,375 I need that for cheerleading, you cretin. 301 00:15:54,458 --> 00:15:55,958 [man] Son of a sandwich! 302 00:15:56,041 --> 00:15:59,291 -Get in the car! -[horn honking] 303 00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,666 [distant] We're gonna miss the flight, you guys. Come on! 304 00:16:01,750 --> 00:16:04,041 Uh, hi, my dude. Um... 305 00:16:04,125 --> 00:16:05,708 Is Carol Mercer home? 306 00:16:05,791 --> 00:16:07,791 No, Carol took the early flight. She booked the cars. 307 00:16:07,875 --> 00:16:10,250 That's why they're in her name. These are our cars. We need to go. 308 00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:11,916 Will you be a mint? 309 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,708 -Put that in the back for us, huh? -Uh… 310 00:16:13,791 --> 00:16:16,541 Bethany, is this a good time for a selfie in front of an Uber? 311 00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:18,833 -#ill-judged. -[sighs] 312 00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:22,291 Text that to me. Okay, guys, get in the car! 313 00:16:22,375 --> 00:16:23,750 Give your stuff to the driver. 314 00:16:23,833 --> 00:16:26,166 -If I miss the duty-free shop… -I'm not the driver. 315 00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:28,375 …I am going to shave somebody's head. That's real. 316 00:16:28,458 --> 00:16:30,708 Blake, you do realize they sell alcohol in Japan? 317 00:16:30,791 --> 00:16:32,291 Hey, big news, Stu. 318 00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:34,625 Duty-free shops sell three-foot Toblerones. 319 00:16:34,708 --> 00:16:37,583 Hey, buddy. I'm gonna give that to you and ask you to take real good care of it. 320 00:16:37,666 --> 00:16:39,583 It's got my sleep apnea machine in there. 321 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:42,708 Do you know if Carol's son, Max, is home? 322 00:16:43,416 --> 00:16:46,416 If you don't see him, he's halfway to Tokyo by now. All right. 323 00:16:48,333 --> 00:16:50,916 Is that everyone? The cars are leaving now. 324 00:16:54,166 --> 00:16:55,458 [typing] 325 00:16:55,541 --> 00:16:56,625 [phone chimes] 326 00:16:57,166 --> 00:16:58,833 [girl] Everybody, say cheese. 327 00:16:59,541 --> 00:17:00,958 Everybody, wave. 328 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,166 Somebody that lives here, what's the code? 329 00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:17,041 -Your mamma! -Thank you, Ricky! 330 00:17:17,125 --> 00:17:19,333 Guess who's number one to get his head shaved? 331 00:17:20,166 --> 00:17:21,291 It's Ricky! Code! 332 00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:24,500 -One, one, one, two. -One, one, one, two. Brilliant. 333 00:17:24,583 --> 00:17:25,791 That's a bad code. 334 00:17:28,458 --> 00:17:29,458 [electronic voice] Armed. 335 00:17:29,541 --> 00:17:30,708 [groans] 336 00:17:32,791 --> 00:17:34,333 Here we go. All right. 337 00:17:37,541 --> 00:17:39,541 I'm sorry, but I really do need to talk to Carol. 338 00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:43,625 Yes. Don't worry. I'll make sure that Carol gives you five stars in the app. 339 00:17:43,708 --> 00:17:45,041 Reputation is everything. 340 00:17:46,541 --> 00:17:49,625 Oh, hey, wait! Wait! 341 00:17:51,583 --> 00:17:52,666 [groans] 342 00:17:56,791 --> 00:17:58,666 What the heck are you looking at? 343 00:18:00,708 --> 00:18:01,916 [grunts] 344 00:18:05,416 --> 00:18:07,875 I'm sorry. I'm having a bad day. 345 00:18:16,666 --> 00:18:17,708 There it is. 346 00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,208 Oh, my… 347 00:18:25,958 --> 00:18:27,833 One, one, one, two. 348 00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:36,833 [heart thumping] 349 00:18:41,333 --> 00:18:42,583 [siren blares] 350 00:18:49,708 --> 00:18:52,833 -[radio: "Mele Kalikimaka" playing] -[horn honks] 351 00:18:58,458 --> 00:18:59,958 Okay, it's just a dog. 352 00:19:00,041 --> 00:19:02,458 I'm being ridiculous. I've gone insane. 353 00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:05,041 I'm a good, normal man. I'm gonna talk to Pam. 354 00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:06,750 Pam. 355 00:19:06,833 --> 00:19:08,458 I'm just a neighbor helping. 356 00:19:08,541 --> 00:19:10,708 I water their dogs-- plants. 357 00:19:10,791 --> 00:19:14,375 I'm a friend of Carol's. A friend of-- Carol Ellen Mercer is her name. 358 00:19:14,458 --> 00:19:15,458 I gotta call Pam. 359 00:19:18,875 --> 00:19:20,041 [chattering] 360 00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:24,708 Where is he? 361 00:19:24,791 --> 00:19:26,166 I'm not sure where he is. 362 00:19:34,333 --> 00:19:35,458 Oh, great. 363 00:19:36,625 --> 00:19:37,791 I'm sorry. Sorry. 364 00:19:38,666 --> 00:19:39,791 [Hunter] Oh. 365 00:19:39,875 --> 00:19:42,125 -Here we go. Sorry. Hi. -Is everything okay? 366 00:19:42,208 --> 00:19:44,375 -Yeah, fine. Thank you. -What are you wearing? 367 00:19:44,458 --> 00:19:46,458 -I didn't have time to change. -You look ridiculous. 368 00:19:46,541 --> 00:19:49,125 -Thank you. -[conductor] Season's greetings, seniors. 369 00:19:49,208 --> 00:19:52,041 I apologize for the delay, but we all saw the reason why. 370 00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:55,833 My D-flat has decided that the world runs on his time. 371 00:19:56,708 --> 00:20:00,125 Without further ado, I give you the Ne'er-Do-Bells. 372 00:20:00,208 --> 00:20:01,833 Hands on bells. 373 00:20:03,083 --> 00:20:05,166 -Raise the bells. -[bells ring lightly] 374 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,708 Two, three, four. 375 00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:10,416 [bells ring] 376 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,125 [singing "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer"] 377 00:20:12,208 --> 00:20:13,833 -So did you get my voice mail? -Yes. 378 00:20:13,916 --> 00:20:15,958 All of this happened in the last two hours? 379 00:20:16,041 --> 00:20:18,500 Yeah, the doll is in that house. I saw it in his jacket. 380 00:20:18,583 --> 00:20:21,000 -Why didn't you tell me this? -I thought I would handle it myself. 381 00:20:21,083 --> 00:20:23,458 And your way of handling it was breaking and entering? 382 00:20:23,541 --> 00:20:24,833 Just entering. I had the key. 383 00:20:24,916 --> 00:20:27,541 -It's still against the law, Jeff. -[shouting] Like a lightbulb. 384 00:20:27,625 --> 00:20:29,375 Oh, my gosh. This is so terrible. 385 00:20:29,458 --> 00:20:31,458 [carolers] ♪ All of the other reindeer ♪ 386 00:20:31,541 --> 00:20:33,125 But that's why I didn't do it, Columbo. 387 00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:34,291 Well, good. 388 00:20:34,375 --> 00:20:36,291 -Like Pinocchio. -Pinocchio. 389 00:20:36,375 --> 00:20:38,000 What are we gonna do now? We need that doll. 390 00:20:38,083 --> 00:20:40,125 I know we do, okay? Just let me think. 391 00:20:40,208 --> 00:20:43,500 ♪ Join in any reindeer games ♪ 392 00:20:43,583 --> 00:20:45,125 -[stammers] Uh, like Monopoly! -Yeah. 393 00:20:45,208 --> 00:20:46,583 -That's too late. -Yeah. 394 00:20:46,666 --> 00:20:48,625 -Boo. Sounds like garbage. -[singing resumes] 395 00:20:48,708 --> 00:20:50,750 -Herman, no. None of that. -Well, it does. 396 00:20:51,666 --> 00:20:52,833 You stink. 397 00:20:52,916 --> 00:20:54,541 ♪ Santa came to say ♪ 398 00:20:54,625 --> 00:20:55,875 Here's what we're gonna do. 399 00:20:55,958 --> 00:20:58,291 We will wait until they come back from vacation, 400 00:20:58,375 --> 00:21:01,541 and then I will go over there. I will tell the mom everything, 401 00:21:01,625 --> 00:21:03,125 and we'll get the doll back. 402 00:21:03,708 --> 00:21:04,958 [whispers] Get it together. 403 00:21:05,041 --> 00:21:06,666 Are you sure we should wait? 404 00:21:06,750 --> 00:21:10,041 Yes, Jeff. I don't want my husband spending Christmas in jail. 405 00:21:10,125 --> 00:21:11,208 -[clears throat] Yippee! -Hey! 406 00:21:11,291 --> 00:21:12,791 Wow. 407 00:21:12,875 --> 00:21:15,250 But the-- Our future is in that house, Pam. 408 00:21:15,333 --> 00:21:18,625 Come on. What could happen to it in an empty house? 409 00:21:18,708 --> 00:21:22,833 -[singing ends] -[bell rings continuously] 410 00:21:22,916 --> 00:21:24,000 It's okay, Martha. 411 00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:27,458 Don't blame her. That's you. 412 00:21:27,541 --> 00:21:28,666 Sorry. 413 00:21:28,750 --> 00:21:32,000 -Shame on you. This is my life choice. -[bell rings lightly] 414 00:21:35,166 --> 00:21:36,291 [groans] 415 00:21:44,291 --> 00:21:46,666 [Max] Hello? 416 00:21:47,875 --> 00:21:48,958 Mum? 417 00:21:51,333 --> 00:21:52,416 Dad? 418 00:21:54,750 --> 00:21:55,875 Uncle Blake? 419 00:21:57,208 --> 00:21:58,541 Uncle Stu? 420 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,083 It's a Christmas miracle. 421 00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:15,916 [chuckles] 422 00:22:19,375 --> 00:22:22,583 -[game character screams] -[groans] Oh, come on, mate! 423 00:22:27,708 --> 00:22:29,333 ["Christmas All Over Again" playing] 424 00:22:29,416 --> 00:22:31,791 ♪ Well it's Christmas time ♪ 425 00:22:31,875 --> 00:22:32,875 [laughs] 426 00:22:32,958 --> 00:22:34,208 ♪ Again ♪ 427 00:22:35,083 --> 00:22:36,083 Ugh. 428 00:22:36,166 --> 00:22:39,708 ♪ Decorations are all hung by the fire ♪ 429 00:22:39,791 --> 00:22:40,875 Oh! 430 00:22:41,666 --> 00:22:45,458 All right, Internet. Show me your worst. 431 00:22:45,541 --> 00:22:47,000 [monitor beeps] 432 00:22:47,541 --> 00:22:48,958 Well played, Mum and Dad. 433 00:22:49,041 --> 00:22:50,083 ♪ Ringing out ♪ 434 00:22:50,166 --> 00:22:53,666 ♪ And it's Christmas ♪ 435 00:22:53,750 --> 00:22:58,458 ♪ All over again ♪ 436 00:23:00,208 --> 00:23:02,250 ♪ Yeah again ♪ 437 00:23:05,250 --> 00:23:07,666 ♪ And all over town ♪ 438 00:23:08,416 --> 00:23:10,875 ♪ Little kids gonna get down ♪ 439 00:23:10,958 --> 00:23:11,958 [moans] 440 00:23:12,666 --> 00:23:15,583 [screaming] 441 00:23:18,041 --> 00:23:19,208 ♪ Hey ♪ 442 00:23:25,875 --> 00:23:28,166 ♪ Everybody's singing ♪ 443 00:23:29,375 --> 00:23:31,708 ♪ All the bells are ringing out ♪ 444 00:23:31,791 --> 00:23:34,208 [screams] 445 00:23:35,375 --> 00:23:38,208 ♪ All over ♪ 446 00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:39,458 [moans] 447 00:23:39,541 --> 00:23:41,208 ♪ Again ♪ 448 00:23:41,291 --> 00:23:42,541 [people chatter] 449 00:23:42,625 --> 00:23:46,208 [Jeff] Pam, that doll is worth $238,000, 450 00:23:46,291 --> 00:23:50,125 and is it really a crime to steal something that was stolen from you? 451 00:23:50,208 --> 00:23:54,000 Yes, that's what O.J. got in trouble for. The second time. 452 00:23:54,083 --> 00:23:56,833 -Okay, I just think-- -Look, I know that you wanna save the day 453 00:23:56,916 --> 00:23:59,125 because you feel bad about losing your job. 454 00:23:59,208 --> 00:24:00,708 What's wrong with that? 455 00:24:00,791 --> 00:24:03,708 The fact that you will feel a lot worse telling your kids you're… 456 00:24:04,708 --> 00:24:06,708 [whispers] in jail for committing a felony. 457 00:24:06,791 --> 00:24:09,458 No, it's a misdemeanor. Yeah, I looked it up. 458 00:24:09,541 --> 00:24:12,291 That is evidence. Do you know how to clear your search history? 459 00:24:12,375 --> 00:24:14,666 [chuckles] Yeah. I mean, well, I probably-- 460 00:24:14,750 --> 00:24:16,583 -I-I'm sure I could figure it out. -Okay, listen. 461 00:24:16,666 --> 00:24:19,541 We made a plan. Let's just stick to it, okay? 462 00:24:19,625 --> 00:24:21,250 -[girl] Mom, Dad, look at us. -[Hunter] Hey! 463 00:24:21,333 --> 00:24:23,125 -Hey! -You like 'em? Look at Ollie. 464 00:24:23,208 --> 00:24:24,250 He's a little elf. 465 00:24:24,333 --> 00:24:27,083 He's so smart. We handed 'em to him. He put 'em right on. 466 00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:28,333 Oh, amazing. 467 00:24:28,416 --> 00:24:31,458 Um, could I get some, uh, reindeer antlers for Pam 468 00:24:32,041 --> 00:24:34,625 and a pair of the little elf glasses for my brother? 469 00:24:34,708 --> 00:24:36,791 [train whistles, sings] 470 00:24:38,791 --> 00:24:40,875 -Ollie, we need big smiles from you, okay? -Look at Mommy. 471 00:24:40,958 --> 00:24:42,916 -[cries] -[Hunter] Big smiles, Ollie. Big smiles. 472 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,125 Little guy comes alive in front of the camera. 473 00:24:45,208 --> 00:24:46,291 [Ollie wails] 474 00:24:46,375 --> 00:24:49,125 Um, okay, cute photo much? 475 00:24:49,208 --> 00:24:51,291 [chuckles] I mean, come on. Look at that. 476 00:24:51,375 --> 00:24:53,958 Look at what's happened there. It's an adorable image. 477 00:24:54,041 --> 00:24:56,416 -It's cute. It's super cute. -[crying continues] 478 00:24:56,500 --> 00:24:58,000 It's a special memory. 479 00:24:58,083 --> 00:25:00,458 And since we are paper-free at the North Pole, 480 00:25:00,541 --> 00:25:01,916 you can actually use this code 481 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,458 to download that special memory right from the cloud. 482 00:25:04,541 --> 00:25:08,750 Wh-- So, you're not even using solid-state storage on-site? 483 00:25:08,833 --> 00:25:11,916 -I don't know what that means. -[Jeff] I'll tell you what it means. 484 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,750 What it means is, you're entirely at the whim of a hosted service provider 485 00:25:14,833 --> 00:25:16,333 for virtualization and backup. 486 00:25:16,416 --> 00:25:17,791 Sir, I'm not a woman in tech. 487 00:25:17,875 --> 00:25:20,166 -I'm a woman in memories. -You know, it's not a video game. 488 00:25:20,250 --> 00:25:21,541 -She doesn't care. -I don't understand 489 00:25:21,625 --> 00:25:23,916 why you'd be so cavalier with something this important. 490 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,041 [girl] What is this? 491 00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:29,208 [Mei] New fashion, honey. We gotta-- We gotta switch up these colors. 492 00:25:29,291 --> 00:25:33,083 -[gasps] Mom, look at how cute this is. -So cute. 493 00:25:33,166 --> 00:25:35,375 -[chuckles] Can I get it? -Oh. 494 00:25:36,333 --> 00:25:38,583 Oh, honey, no. I'm sorry, that's way too much. 495 00:25:38,666 --> 00:25:41,916 Okay, no, no, no. I can't stand the thought of you not having that. 496 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,958 Consider it an early Christmas present from Auntie Mei-Mei. 497 00:25:45,041 --> 00:25:46,541 You're gonna look so hot. Come on. 498 00:25:46,625 --> 00:25:48,958 -Mei. -[girl giggling] Are you kidding? 499 00:25:49,458 --> 00:25:50,458 [phone beeps] 500 00:25:50,541 --> 00:25:51,750 [Mei] This, please. 501 00:25:54,541 --> 00:25:55,708 [Mei] A top for you. 502 00:26:00,208 --> 00:26:04,000 [man on TV] I'll tell you what I am gonna give you, Snakes. 503 00:26:04,083 --> 00:26:07,666 I'm gonna give you 'til the count of ten 504 00:26:08,458 --> 00:26:12,750 to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keister… 505 00:26:12,833 --> 00:26:15,000 -Ugh, this is garbage. - …off my spaceship… 506 00:26:15,083 --> 00:26:17,958 I don't know why they're always trying to remake the classics. 507 00:26:18,041 --> 00:26:19,708 Never as good as the originals. 508 00:26:19,791 --> 00:26:21,250 You want some more P-corn, C-Train? 509 00:26:21,333 --> 00:26:22,833 -Oh, yeah, that'd be great. -All right. 510 00:26:24,250 --> 00:26:27,125 -[man on TV] One, two… -I don't remember this guy. 511 00:26:28,166 --> 00:26:30,000 Whoa! Ho, ho! 512 00:26:30,083 --> 00:26:33,125 Nearly lost your house there, Pama-lama-ding-dong. 513 00:26:43,166 --> 00:26:45,208 ["Somewhere In My Memory" playing] 514 00:26:52,875 --> 00:26:54,166 [Jeff] Hey, honey. 515 00:26:54,250 --> 00:26:56,416 -Put the topper on. -Should we put it on together? 516 00:26:56,500 --> 00:26:58,958 -Yeah. -One, two, three. [gasps] 517 00:26:59,041 --> 00:27:00,791 [girl] Santa came! Santa came! 518 00:27:00,875 --> 00:27:03,500 [boy] Santa came! Santa came! Santa came! 519 00:27:03,583 --> 00:27:04,958 I'm so excited. 520 00:27:05,041 --> 00:27:06,833 Santa came! 521 00:27:06,916 --> 00:27:08,250 -Oh, my God! -Santa came. 522 00:27:08,333 --> 00:27:09,666 -Come here. -Oh, my God! 523 00:27:13,750 --> 00:27:15,333 Home sweet home. 524 00:27:17,458 --> 00:27:19,458 Mom, you gotta save our house. 525 00:27:19,541 --> 00:27:21,458 Seriously, Mom, will you just get the doll? 526 00:27:21,541 --> 00:27:23,583 It's just entering, Pam. We have the key. 527 00:27:23,666 --> 00:27:25,500 Pam, you have to call me. 528 00:27:25,583 --> 00:27:27,083 - Hi, Gavin… - Come and get me. 529 00:27:27,166 --> 00:27:29,375 Now, Fräulein. Now! 530 00:27:30,833 --> 00:27:33,125 I will, you ugly, little boy! 531 00:27:33,208 --> 00:27:36,166 [man on TV] Keep the change, ya filthy earthling. 532 00:27:36,250 --> 00:27:38,333 Well, I think you're very handsome. 533 00:27:40,916 --> 00:27:42,125 Let's go. 534 00:27:42,208 --> 00:27:43,916 -Where are we going? -To get some milk. 535 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,166 Oh, well, there's plenty of milk in the fridge, Pammy. 536 00:27:46,250 --> 00:27:49,375 No, you guys have a ton of milk. You're all set on milk. 537 00:27:49,458 --> 00:27:51,750 Uh, eggnog. We need-- We're gonna get some eggnog. 538 00:27:51,833 --> 00:27:54,458 -You've seen the weather, right? -[Mei] It's snowmageddon out there. 539 00:27:54,541 --> 00:27:56,583 Yeah, snowpocalypse, babe. Snowpocalypse is better. 540 00:27:56,666 --> 00:28:01,083 -Are you gonna be okay to drive? -Yes, yes, yes, yes. 541 00:28:02,250 --> 00:28:04,250 Yes. We are okay to drive. 542 00:28:04,333 --> 00:28:06,041 [wind howling] 543 00:28:07,583 --> 00:28:09,333 [Pam] Honey, your instincts were right. 544 00:28:09,416 --> 00:28:12,875 We can't leave a winning lottery ticket in some stranger's house. 545 00:28:12,958 --> 00:28:16,208 Yeah, yeah. We are doing this. 546 00:28:16,291 --> 00:28:18,250 Oh, honey, that's Beechtree. 547 00:28:18,333 --> 00:28:19,416 [tires screeching] 548 00:28:19,500 --> 00:28:22,541 [both yelling] 549 00:28:22,625 --> 00:28:24,166 [both yell] 550 00:28:24,250 --> 00:28:28,000 Honey, steer into the slide. 551 00:28:28,083 --> 00:28:30,666 N-No, y-you steer into a skid. 552 00:28:38,291 --> 00:28:41,958 Pam, I watched an episode of Locked Up earlier today on demand, 553 00:28:42,041 --> 00:28:43,041 and… 554 00:28:43,916 --> 00:28:45,708 I can't go to jail, honey. 555 00:28:45,791 --> 00:28:48,333 I wouldn't last 30 seconds in gen pop. 556 00:28:49,125 --> 00:28:50,333 Gen pop? 557 00:28:50,916 --> 00:28:52,125 General population. 558 00:28:52,708 --> 00:28:54,500 It's where fresh fish get got. 559 00:28:57,458 --> 00:28:58,458 Jeff. 560 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,083 I need you to focus. 561 00:29:02,166 --> 00:29:05,750 Nobody here is getting got. 562 00:29:05,833 --> 00:29:10,416 The only thing getting got is that doll. 563 00:29:10,500 --> 00:29:13,916 So let's go get it! 564 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,041 [door bangs] 565 00:29:18,166 --> 00:29:19,708 -Can you unlock the door? -Yeah. 566 00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:21,291 -[lock clicks] -Sorry. 567 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,208 [door closes] 568 00:29:28,666 --> 00:29:29,708 [Pam exhales] 569 00:29:31,083 --> 00:29:32,250 Don't move. 570 00:29:35,500 --> 00:29:36,791 Why are we standing still? 571 00:29:36,875 --> 00:29:40,958 Because the light is motion-activated, and if we stand still, it'll turn off. 572 00:29:41,041 --> 00:29:44,708 Yeah, but it's just gonna turn back on when we move again. 573 00:29:44,791 --> 00:29:47,083 So, why are we standing still now? 574 00:29:47,166 --> 00:29:49,333 I don't know. I'm not good at this. 575 00:29:49,416 --> 00:29:50,416 I know. 576 00:29:52,166 --> 00:29:53,708 [Jeff groans] 577 00:29:54,333 --> 00:29:56,125 [Jeff grunts, inhales shakily] 578 00:30:03,083 --> 00:30:04,458 [machine beeps] 579 00:30:05,166 --> 00:30:06,208 And we're criminals. 580 00:30:06,291 --> 00:30:08,416 -[Pam] Go. -[Alarm rings, buzzes] 581 00:30:08,500 --> 00:30:09,833 [electronic voice] Alarm. 582 00:30:10,583 --> 00:30:11,708 It's loud. 583 00:30:11,791 --> 00:30:13,625 [alarm beeping, buzzing continues] 584 00:30:13,708 --> 00:30:14,708 [electronic voice] Alarm. 585 00:30:14,791 --> 00:30:17,000 [Jeff] Two, two, two, one. 586 00:30:17,083 --> 00:30:18,541 Be careful. Don't slip. 587 00:30:18,625 --> 00:30:20,333 -[Jeff whispers] Okay. -[beeps] 588 00:30:21,958 --> 00:30:24,000 [Pam] They did leave in a hurry. 589 00:30:24,083 --> 00:30:25,541 [beeps] 590 00:30:25,625 --> 00:30:27,666 -Where'd you see the kid's jacket? -It was right here. 591 00:30:28,333 --> 00:30:30,166 Well, we tried. 592 00:30:30,250 --> 00:30:33,041 A jacket can't just get up and walk away. It has to be here somewhere. 593 00:30:33,125 --> 00:30:35,583 Hey, don't bail on me. 594 00:30:36,416 --> 00:30:38,000 We're a team. 595 00:30:38,083 --> 00:30:39,125 O-Okay. 596 00:30:39,916 --> 00:30:42,875 Him? I knew he was weird. 597 00:30:42,958 --> 00:30:46,666 All we have to do is find that ugly, little boy. 598 00:30:46,750 --> 00:30:51,666 And then some crazy, old lady will pay us $200,000 for him. 599 00:30:51,750 --> 00:30:54,708 Two-hundred grand just to put him in a room, 600 00:30:54,791 --> 00:30:58,458 clean him off with her little brushes, and show him off to all her friends. 601 00:30:58,541 --> 00:31:05,250 [laughs] May I feed him a piece of this gross, old lady candy? 602 00:31:05,333 --> 00:31:07,208 Of course. That's all he eats. 603 00:31:07,291 --> 00:31:08,625 [groans] 604 00:31:08,708 --> 00:31:10,083 -[laughing] -[retches] 605 00:31:10,166 --> 00:31:11,833 Oh, Gertrude. He's perfect. 606 00:31:11,916 --> 00:31:13,750 Worth every penny. 607 00:31:14,375 --> 00:31:16,208 -[Max retches] -[grunts, laughs] 608 00:31:16,291 --> 00:31:19,166 [laughing] 609 00:31:19,250 --> 00:31:22,166 [whimpers] 610 00:31:24,375 --> 00:31:27,333 Five grand for an ugly, porcelain kid. 611 00:31:27,416 --> 00:31:30,791 I didn't get half that for my real kids. 612 00:31:32,083 --> 00:31:34,458 We're not leaving here without him. 613 00:31:34,541 --> 00:31:36,041 I don't think so. 614 00:31:38,500 --> 00:31:39,666 [floorboards creaking] 615 00:31:41,708 --> 00:31:42,708 The jacket. 616 00:31:43,958 --> 00:31:46,458 -Homebot, call the police. -[Homebot beeps] 617 00:31:46,541 --> 00:31:50,041 [Homebot speaking German] 618 00:31:50,125 --> 00:31:51,375 There's someone home. 619 00:31:51,458 --> 00:31:53,875 [Homebot speaking German] 620 00:31:53,958 --> 00:31:55,583 And she's German. 621 00:31:55,666 --> 00:31:58,541 [Homebot speaking German] 622 00:31:58,625 --> 00:31:59,958 [Jeff repeats German] 623 00:32:00,041 --> 00:32:02,833 Okay, on three, we run. One. 624 00:32:07,750 --> 00:32:08,791 [grunts] 625 00:32:09,291 --> 00:32:10,458 -Ow, ow. -[siren wails] 626 00:32:12,666 --> 00:32:14,166 Whoa, that was fast. 627 00:32:14,250 --> 00:32:17,250 -[siren wailing continues] -[Homebot speaking German] 628 00:32:21,250 --> 00:32:24,833 [radio chatter] 629 00:32:31,208 --> 00:32:32,541 Evening. 630 00:32:32,625 --> 00:32:33,625 Hi. 631 00:32:37,125 --> 00:32:38,375 Hello, Officer. 632 00:32:39,041 --> 00:32:41,250 [scoffs] Did somebody slip and fall? [chuckles] 633 00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:44,500 Ha! Busted. 634 00:32:44,583 --> 00:32:46,166 Is this your residence? 635 00:32:46,250 --> 00:32:48,166 Well, I certainly hope so. 636 00:32:48,250 --> 00:32:52,875 Otherwise, I've been cleaning somebody else's sinks for the past 14 years. 637 00:32:52,958 --> 00:32:54,083 [chuckles] 638 00:32:54,166 --> 00:32:55,416 [chuckles] Sinks. 639 00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:57,208 Is there a problem, Officer? 640 00:32:57,291 --> 00:32:59,375 Honey, why don't you go warm up the car? 641 00:33:01,041 --> 00:33:04,500 We got a call. Your home alarm's been triggered. 642 00:33:05,125 --> 00:33:08,333 Yeah, well, the code is our anniversary, so… 643 00:33:09,083 --> 00:33:11,708 you think he's gonna remember that? [chuckles] 644 00:33:12,541 --> 00:33:15,958 I'm sure you never forget your anniversary, do you, Officer? 645 00:33:16,041 --> 00:33:18,958 -Oh, no, no. [chuckles] -[car door closes] 646 00:33:19,958 --> 00:33:21,875 -No ring on this finger, ma'am. -[engine starts] 647 00:33:21,958 --> 00:33:24,291 No one's been able to tame this wild stallion. 648 00:33:24,375 --> 00:33:25,458 [sniffs] 649 00:33:25,541 --> 00:33:29,166 Well, I envy the filly who eventually ropes you in. 650 00:33:30,583 --> 00:33:32,416 Another time, another place. 651 00:33:34,083 --> 00:33:36,958 A whole lot of what-ifs, Officer. 652 00:33:37,041 --> 00:33:40,916 [chuckles] Anyway, I'm so sorry we wasted your time. 653 00:33:42,458 --> 00:33:44,958 Is there anything else I can help you with tonight? 654 00:33:45,708 --> 00:33:47,208 No, don't worry 'bout it. No. 655 00:33:48,208 --> 00:33:51,708 Unless you want me to arrest your husband for missing your anniversary, huh? 656 00:33:51,791 --> 00:33:53,083 [both laugh] 657 00:33:53,166 --> 00:33:56,916 Is it bad if a part of me says, "Yeah, I do want that"? 658 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,291 [both laughing] 659 00:33:59,375 --> 00:34:00,666 What's so funny? 660 00:34:00,750 --> 00:34:02,416 -[Pam laughs] -Get it? 661 00:34:03,583 --> 00:34:05,916 What are you waiting for? Detain them. 662 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,583 -Now-- -[Max, faintly] Detain them! 663 00:34:08,833 --> 00:34:09,875 What was that? 664 00:34:17,833 --> 00:34:19,833 Nah, nah, we're all good. 665 00:34:21,458 --> 00:34:25,500 What say you and your hubby have a nice holiday. 666 00:34:26,541 --> 00:34:27,583 And a good night. 667 00:34:27,666 --> 00:34:29,916 -Wait, you're letting them get away. -[sirens wailing] 668 00:34:31,083 --> 00:34:33,583 And-- And then those people broke into my house, 669 00:34:33,666 --> 00:34:35,041 -and I-I-I-- -Whoa, whoa. 670 00:34:35,125 --> 00:34:38,458 -…think they're trying to kidnap me or-- -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 671 00:34:38,541 --> 00:34:42,875 Are you saying your parents left you home alone? 672 00:34:42,958 --> 00:34:45,875 -Alone? Alone? Alone? -[bars sliding] 673 00:34:47,125 --> 00:34:49,750 [pants] 674 00:34:49,833 --> 00:34:52,291 [whispers] Why did you have to tell anyone, Max? 675 00:34:52,375 --> 00:34:55,708 Why did you have to open your big mouth? 676 00:34:55,791 --> 00:34:57,666 [pants] 677 00:34:57,750 --> 00:34:59,500 [cries] 678 00:35:00,583 --> 00:35:02,666 Maybe the police is a bad idea. 679 00:35:07,375 --> 00:35:08,375 Nice couple. 680 00:35:09,791 --> 00:35:10,958 [Max] You know what? 681 00:35:11,750 --> 00:35:16,000 This whole house-to-myself thing might not have been the best idea, Homebot. 682 00:35:16,083 --> 00:35:17,833 [Homebot beeps, speaks in German] 683 00:35:18,416 --> 00:35:20,791 [groans] How do you switch back to English? 684 00:35:20,875 --> 00:35:22,708 Changing language to English. 685 00:35:22,791 --> 00:35:24,541 Oh, that was easy. 686 00:35:25,125 --> 00:35:28,083 Homebot, call Mum. 687 00:35:28,166 --> 00:35:32,708 I'm sorry. Voice calling is not available on this Homebot device. 688 00:35:32,791 --> 00:35:34,416 [Max] So what do I do, Homebot? 689 00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:37,583 I can't call my mum, and if I tell the police or anyone else, 690 00:35:37,666 --> 00:35:39,583 they'll put my parents in jail. 691 00:35:39,666 --> 00:35:44,125 A blue whale's veins are big enough for an adult human to swim through. 692 00:35:44,208 --> 00:35:46,583 How is that supposed to help? 693 00:35:46,666 --> 00:35:49,000 What time is it in Tokyo? 694 00:35:49,083 --> 00:35:54,000 It is 11:37 a.m. tomorrow in Tokyo, Japan. 695 00:35:54,666 --> 00:35:55,833 Night, Homebot. 696 00:35:56,666 --> 00:35:57,916 [Homebot] Good night, Max. 697 00:35:59,250 --> 00:36:00,875 [Carol shouting] What? 698 00:36:00,958 --> 00:36:03,125 Wha-- Are you-- Are you serious? 699 00:36:03,208 --> 00:36:05,125 So at no point you thought to check with me? 700 00:36:05,208 --> 00:36:07,458 You just assumed that Max was on the other flight? 701 00:36:07,541 --> 00:36:09,708 We didn't take a census. I-- 702 00:36:09,791 --> 00:36:12,958 Stu, did you assume he was on the plane? 703 00:36:13,041 --> 00:36:16,291 [Stu] Carol, I swear to you. That boy was not in the house when we left. 704 00:36:16,375 --> 00:36:18,541 And where do you think he was, Stu? 705 00:36:18,625 --> 00:36:21,291 At the-- At the Four freaking Seasons? 706 00:36:21,375 --> 00:36:22,750 He had fish curry on the plane. 707 00:36:22,833 --> 00:36:25,083 We probably got a hard 30 before we're gonna see Stu. 708 00:36:25,166 --> 00:36:27,625 You do realize that, because of you, I'm in Japan, 709 00:36:27,708 --> 00:36:31,916 and my ten-- ten-year-old son is at home by himself? 710 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,916 Yeah, but-- but first-world problems, you know? [chuckles] 711 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,750 -First-world problems? -Stop it. Listen, listen, stop it! 712 00:36:37,833 --> 00:36:39,000 I got that at Brookstone. 713 00:36:39,958 --> 00:36:41,083 Dad's five minutes away. 714 00:36:41,166 --> 00:36:44,000 He's at the travel desk and could only get one ticket home. 715 00:36:44,083 --> 00:36:46,625 -Yes, hello. Beechtree Lane. -[gasps] 716 00:36:46,708 --> 00:36:48,000 -With two-- -Beech with two E's. 717 00:36:48,083 --> 00:36:49,541 Can you send an officer right away? 718 00:36:49,625 --> 00:36:51,375 [Stu] Did somebody call the house? 719 00:36:51,458 --> 00:36:54,750 No, because we don't have a landline. Nobody has a landline anymore. 720 00:36:54,833 --> 00:36:58,416 Yes, Stu, nobody has a landline anymore because it's not 1993. 721 00:36:58,500 --> 00:37:03,166 What's your next idea? Should I beep him after I listen to the new MC Hammer joint? 722 00:37:03,250 --> 00:37:05,250 What about the neighbors? Call one of the neighbors. 723 00:37:05,333 --> 00:37:08,125 -Activate the prayer chain. -We don't know the neighbors, Blake. 724 00:37:08,208 --> 00:37:11,333 We only moved there two months ago. I don't think we even know their names. 725 00:37:11,416 --> 00:37:14,083 Everybody we know is back in London. 726 00:37:14,166 --> 00:37:15,583 Well, Mum, where are you going? 727 00:37:15,666 --> 00:37:19,708 I'm going to go to the airport, darling, because I can't sit here while my son is-- 728 00:37:19,791 --> 00:37:21,708 I mean-- God, where is my passport? 729 00:37:21,791 --> 00:37:24,458 -It's in your hand. -It's in my hand. It's in my hand. 730 00:37:24,541 --> 00:37:28,208 See, Carol? Under stress, people make mistakes that we should forgive. 731 00:37:28,291 --> 00:37:30,875 You know? People forget passports. People forget-- 732 00:37:30,958 --> 00:37:32,875 -[yells] No! -Stop it. 733 00:37:32,958 --> 00:37:36,041 Oh, darling, happy Christmas. Mummy loves you very much. Okay? 734 00:37:36,125 --> 00:37:38,000 [Stu] Uh, what's happening? Did Carol leave? 735 00:37:38,083 --> 00:37:39,208 Travel safe. 736 00:37:39,291 --> 00:37:40,625 [Stu] What-- What's going on? 737 00:37:45,458 --> 00:37:46,583 [laughs] 738 00:37:46,666 --> 00:37:47,833 -[man grunts] -[laughs] 739 00:37:47,916 --> 00:37:50,666 [male dispatcher] Car 18, car 18. You near Lincoln Heights? 740 00:37:50,750 --> 00:37:53,583 We got a call about a minor, one Maxwell Mercer. 741 00:37:53,666 --> 00:37:56,625 Parents are on vacation and think he might have been left behind. 742 00:37:56,708 --> 00:37:59,625 - Address is 36 Beechtree Lane . -Oh, you gotta be kidding me. 743 00:38:00,500 --> 00:38:02,000 [clears throat] Um… 744 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:06,833 You can ignore that. That is a prank call. Over. 745 00:38:06,916 --> 00:38:08,583 -[male dispatcher] Prank call? -Yep. 746 00:38:09,541 --> 00:38:13,791 Listen, when I was a kid, my family went on vacation. 747 00:38:14,416 --> 00:38:17,041 We forgot my little brother Kevin. 748 00:38:18,625 --> 00:38:19,666 Twice. 749 00:38:21,291 --> 00:38:25,458 He called in the 289 to mess with me. The idiot does it every year. 750 00:38:26,291 --> 00:38:28,166 [male dispatcher] Are, uh, you sure about that? 751 00:38:28,250 --> 00:38:29,666 Yes, I'm sure about that! 752 00:38:29,750 --> 00:38:35,416 I know for a fact that there is no forgotten child at that address. 753 00:38:35,500 --> 00:38:39,166 I was just there for a bogus home-alarm call, okay? 754 00:38:40,208 --> 00:38:45,000 Guess what? The place had a McCallister Home Alarm system. 755 00:38:45,083 --> 00:38:49,875 Oh, gee, a coincidence? I don't think so. 756 00:38:51,041 --> 00:38:56,375 [male dispatcher] Yeah. So can you just drive by and check it out? 757 00:39:00,166 --> 00:39:02,541 [Officer McCallister] Ten-four. I'm on my way now. 758 00:39:09,375 --> 00:39:13,541 Nice try, Kevin. Nice try. 759 00:39:14,458 --> 00:39:15,833 Trout sniffer. 760 00:39:25,833 --> 00:39:27,875 [chattering] 761 00:39:27,958 --> 00:39:29,083 Hey, guys. 762 00:39:30,125 --> 00:39:32,708 Hey. We saved you some seats 'cause you were running late. 763 00:39:32,791 --> 00:39:34,625 -People are still coming in. -[Jeff] Hi. 764 00:39:34,708 --> 00:39:37,375 Hey, we saved you a seat 'cause you were running late to church. 765 00:39:37,458 --> 00:39:38,458 Yep. Thanks. 766 00:39:38,541 --> 00:39:40,291 I've got an app that will ping your assistant, 767 00:39:40,375 --> 00:39:42,416 let you know when you're running late. I'll send it to you. 768 00:39:42,500 --> 00:39:44,041 -Great. -Okay. Thank you. 769 00:39:46,375 --> 00:39:49,041 Hey, so that dress is really… 770 00:39:50,291 --> 00:39:51,291 Hmm? 771 00:39:51,375 --> 00:39:53,500 -Her shoulder is so bare. -You see the full-- 772 00:39:53,583 --> 00:39:55,000 -You see her full shoulder. -Yeah. 773 00:39:55,083 --> 00:39:58,333 -They grow up so fast, don't they? -Oh, Gavin. What are you doing here? 774 00:39:58,416 --> 00:40:00,833 Well, it's Christmas Eve. It's the day that everybody goes to church. 775 00:40:00,916 --> 00:40:01,916 -Am I right? -Yeah. 776 00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:05,083 Peace be unto you. Peace be unto you. Is that how you say it? Peace be unto-- 777 00:40:05,166 --> 00:40:06,166 Oh, this is nice. 778 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,333 You dudes have been ghosting me. What up with that? 779 00:40:30,916 --> 00:40:32,833 -No, we're-- -But I've got some news. 780 00:40:32,916 --> 00:40:35,416 Houston, we have an offer. 781 00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:37,208 -What? -Um. [clears throat] 782 00:40:37,916 --> 00:40:41,541 Um, it's an offer for your dad's, uh, personal training. 783 00:40:41,625 --> 00:40:43,541 And since you already paid for that jelly belly, 784 00:40:43,625 --> 00:40:46,000 I'm gonna throw in some abs and thighs. That's what that is. 785 00:40:46,583 --> 00:40:48,291 -Thank you. -Great. 786 00:40:48,375 --> 00:40:54,291 Hey, Chris, honey, why don't you go put that, uh, toy in the toy-drive area. 787 00:40:54,375 --> 00:40:56,750 Yeah, we're so proud of you. We really are. 788 00:40:58,291 --> 00:40:59,291 [gasps] 789 00:41:00,625 --> 00:41:03,916 Well, I'm definitely a child in need. Need of this. 790 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:05,375 -Can I help you? -Oh, yes. 791 00:41:05,458 --> 00:41:07,208 Can I get a shopping cart, please? 792 00:41:07,291 --> 00:41:09,208 -Mmm? -Shopping cart. 793 00:41:10,333 --> 00:41:11,666 Oh! [laughs] 794 00:41:11,750 --> 00:41:13,083 No, sweetheart. 795 00:41:13,166 --> 00:41:16,541 These toys are for children less fortunate than you. 796 00:41:16,625 --> 00:41:20,333 Ah, okay. Thought it was too good to be true. 797 00:41:20,416 --> 00:41:22,125 [Max] Whoa, cool. 798 00:41:22,208 --> 00:41:23,791 Thank you, young man. 799 00:41:23,875 --> 00:41:27,875 And I hope you both have a very, very happy Christmas. 800 00:41:27,958 --> 00:41:30,541 -That's unlikely. -Why? What's wrong? Parent trouble? 801 00:41:30,625 --> 00:41:31,791 [sighs] Yeah. 802 00:41:31,875 --> 00:41:33,208 [scoffs] Tell me about it. 803 00:41:33,291 --> 00:41:35,416 They think I don't notice that they're stressed, 804 00:41:35,500 --> 00:41:37,041 but it's super obvious. 805 00:41:37,125 --> 00:41:40,916 Some weird guy keeps showing up pretending to be a personal trainer. 806 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,000 So? What do you say? 807 00:41:43,083 --> 00:41:45,458 -What-- Who-- Who made this offer? -Oh, the Breckins. 808 00:41:45,541 --> 00:41:47,541 Remember the young couple from the city? 809 00:41:47,625 --> 00:41:50,625 Yeah, so they need to sign the contract before the new year. 810 00:41:50,708 --> 00:41:52,625 Something about a tax thing. 811 00:41:52,708 --> 00:41:54,875 -We can't do that. -That's impossible. 812 00:41:54,958 --> 00:41:57,625 Yeah, rich people. Am I right? We're the worst. 813 00:41:58,208 --> 00:42:01,916 [sighs] But listen, we're not gonna get a better offer than this. 814 00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:05,416 So, why don't you take the holiday, think it over and get back to me. 815 00:42:05,500 --> 00:42:08,833 All right? No presh. Well, maybe a little presh. 816 00:42:08,916 --> 00:42:12,083 [chuckles] All right, you know, it's a lot of presh, actually. 817 00:42:12,166 --> 00:42:14,166 All right, cool. Merry Christmas. 818 00:42:14,250 --> 00:42:16,750 You know what? Can I give you a couple of my business cards? 819 00:42:16,833 --> 00:42:18,958 Yeah. Gavin Washington. I do real estate. 820 00:42:19,041 --> 00:42:21,083 At least you're with your mum and dad. 821 00:42:21,166 --> 00:42:24,291 Mine have gone to Tokyo. I'm totally on my own. 822 00:42:24,375 --> 00:42:25,916 That's the coolest thing ever. 823 00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:31,000 I thought it would be, and for about an hour, it was. 824 00:42:31,083 --> 00:42:34,833 But now I'm just lonely. 825 00:42:35,541 --> 00:42:37,708 Here. Have this. 826 00:42:37,791 --> 00:42:40,208 Sounds like you deserve it as much as anybody. 827 00:42:40,291 --> 00:42:42,416 -Merry Christmas. -You too. 828 00:42:42,500 --> 00:42:45,708 Enjoy it with your family. That's what makes it special. 829 00:42:48,625 --> 00:42:49,750 Nice kid. 830 00:42:51,250 --> 00:42:55,125 Thank you. You're a kind little boy. 831 00:42:55,208 --> 00:42:58,958 I think that Santa's gonna bring you everything you want this year. 832 00:42:59,041 --> 00:43:02,083 That'd be nice, but to be honest, 833 00:43:02,166 --> 00:43:05,291 all I really want is my mum and dad back. 834 00:43:05,375 --> 00:43:09,083 Oh, dear. Well, when did you lose them? 835 00:43:09,166 --> 00:43:11,000 Um, two days ago. 836 00:43:11,083 --> 00:43:15,833 Oh. Right at Christmas? You poor little thing. 837 00:43:15,916 --> 00:43:17,791 [stammers] But who's taking care of you? 838 00:43:17,875 --> 00:43:22,416 Uh, it's just me and Goobie at home, but we're getting by all right. 839 00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:25,333 [priest] For Zion's sake, I will not keep silent… 840 00:43:25,416 --> 00:43:27,125 Pam. Pam, it's the kid. 841 00:43:27,750 --> 00:43:29,041 [Pam gasps] 842 00:43:29,708 --> 00:43:32,625 You're right. It is. Who's the old lady? 843 00:43:33,291 --> 00:43:35,500 Oh, at the open house, the kid's mom said 844 00:43:35,583 --> 00:43:38,625 she was gonna leave the kid behind with the grandmother. 845 00:43:38,708 --> 00:43:40,666 I can't believe she went through with that. 846 00:43:40,750 --> 00:43:43,833 So grandma's the German. 847 00:43:43,916 --> 00:43:46,166 Grandma's the German. 848 00:43:48,125 --> 00:43:49,833 [Jeff] All right. So what's the plan? 849 00:43:49,916 --> 00:43:53,791 It's perfect. We go now while they're not home and get our doll back. 850 00:43:53,875 --> 00:43:57,333 The way old ladies drive, we'll be in and out before they leave the parking lot. 851 00:43:58,166 --> 00:44:01,541 [tires screeching] 852 00:44:02,125 --> 00:44:05,333 Wow, I need to come to church more often. 853 00:44:14,375 --> 00:44:15,416 [people chatter] 854 00:44:18,833 --> 00:44:20,625 [Pam] The street's too hot right now. 855 00:44:20,708 --> 00:44:22,083 We'll wait till it gets dark. 856 00:44:22,166 --> 00:44:23,583 We'll go around back. 857 00:44:24,208 --> 00:44:26,208 Okay, Axel Foley. 858 00:44:26,708 --> 00:44:27,750 [crowd chatters] 859 00:44:27,833 --> 00:44:30,916 [PA: ticket agent] Standby... [continues in Japanese] 860 00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:32,583 [baby laughing] 861 00:44:34,833 --> 00:44:37,125 [baby babbling, laughing] 862 00:44:38,666 --> 00:44:44,750 -[PA system dings] -Standby. [continues in Japanese] 863 00:44:44,833 --> 00:44:46,875 -Sorry, did you just hear stand-- standby? -Huh? 864 00:44:47,458 --> 00:44:51,916 Sorry, sorry, sorry. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. 865 00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:53,041 Um… 866 00:44:54,875 --> 00:44:57,458 Sorry, uh, sorry. Uh, konnichiwa . 867 00:44:57,541 --> 00:44:58,625 [stammers] 868 00:44:58,708 --> 00:45:03,250 When will the-- [stammers] the stand-- the standby seats, 869 00:45:03,333 --> 00:45:05,500 um, be announced? When? 870 00:45:05,583 --> 00:45:06,833 A-Announced? 871 00:45:06,916 --> 00:45:08,500 [microphone feedback] 872 00:45:08,583 --> 00:45:12,375 Ma'am, I'd be more than happy to help you after you stand in the line behind you. 873 00:45:12,458 --> 00:45:14,583 Thank you, and happy season. 874 00:45:16,333 --> 00:45:20,166 I am trying to get home to my son, 875 00:45:20,250 --> 00:45:23,333 who's alone and scared, and he needs his mother. 876 00:45:23,416 --> 00:45:25,791 So I need you to answer my question right now. 877 00:45:28,041 --> 00:45:31,250 Standby seat assignments will be announced after the check-in window closes 878 00:45:31,333 --> 00:45:33,500 approximately one hour before departure. 879 00:45:35,458 --> 00:45:36,583 Thank you. 880 00:45:37,083 --> 00:45:38,083 And sorry. 881 00:45:38,916 --> 00:45:39,958 And sorry. 882 00:45:40,041 --> 00:45:43,958 Oh, not a problem. Thank you for flying with us. 883 00:45:45,666 --> 00:45:46,666 Hi. 884 00:45:47,291 --> 00:45:48,500 So we're doing this? 885 00:45:48,583 --> 00:45:49,958 Yeah, just act casual. 886 00:45:51,500 --> 00:45:52,916 -Just going for a walk. -Yeah. 887 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:57,208 [Jeff] It's just a stroll through people's backyards a-at night. 888 00:45:57,291 --> 00:45:59,208 Through some undergrowth. 889 00:45:59,291 --> 00:46:01,500 -It's the most natural thing in the world. -Yeah. 890 00:46:04,208 --> 00:46:06,000 [Jeff] Do you know where you're going? 891 00:46:06,083 --> 00:46:07,666 Yes. Now follow me. 892 00:46:09,083 --> 00:46:12,083 [priest] …you shall be a crown of beauty in the hands of the Lord. 893 00:46:12,166 --> 00:46:13,375 -[phone beeps] -Hey, where are they? 894 00:46:13,458 --> 00:46:16,791 "Forgot to preheat the oven. Be back soon." 895 00:46:17,375 --> 00:46:19,666 -That's a two-person job? -I don't know. 896 00:46:19,750 --> 00:46:21,500 -[woman] Shh. -Oh, look. It's starting. 897 00:46:21,583 --> 00:46:24,458 -Oh, here we go. -Oh, look at Abby. She looks so good. 898 00:46:24,541 --> 00:46:26,750 [choir singing] ♪ O, holy night! ♪ 899 00:46:26,833 --> 00:46:31,375 ♪ The stars are brightly shining ♪ 900 00:46:31,458 --> 00:46:33,291 ♪ It is the night… ♪ 901 00:46:33,375 --> 00:46:34,375 This is it. 902 00:46:34,458 --> 00:46:38,750 ♪ Of the dear Savior's birth ♪ 903 00:46:38,833 --> 00:46:40,625 [Jeff] Why's the wall so high? 904 00:46:40,708 --> 00:46:43,416 It's not like it's Buckingham Palace. 905 00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:45,416 Okay. Here's what we'll do. 906 00:46:45,500 --> 00:46:48,708 I'm gonna boost you up, and then when you get to the top, you'll lift me up. 907 00:46:48,791 --> 00:46:50,833 -Do you think you can do that? -Yeah. 908 00:46:50,916 --> 00:46:51,916 Okay. 909 00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:53,833 -[Jeff grunts] -Okay, okay. 910 00:46:53,916 --> 00:46:54,916 [Pam] Okay. Ready? 911 00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:56,541 -[Pam] Okay. -[both groan] 912 00:46:56,625 --> 00:47:00,916 ♪ Fall on your knees ♪ 913 00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,833 -[Pam grunting] -[grunts] 914 00:47:02,916 --> 00:47:04,833 [Jeff speaks indistinctly] Just-- Whoa! 915 00:47:04,916 --> 00:47:06,291 -[Pam] Just-- Ow! -[grunts] 916 00:47:06,375 --> 00:47:09,833 ♪ The angel voices ♪ 917 00:47:09,916 --> 00:47:11,583 [Pam grunts] Okay. Just-- 918 00:47:14,500 --> 00:47:16,458 -[Jeff] One, two. -[Pam grunting] 919 00:47:16,541 --> 00:47:17,708 [Jeff farts] 920 00:47:17,791 --> 00:47:19,208 -Oh, my God. -I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 921 00:47:19,291 --> 00:47:21,166 -I'm sorry. -[Pam retches] 922 00:47:22,125 --> 00:47:23,500 Just get up there. 923 00:47:24,083 --> 00:47:26,541 [sighs] Okay. Three. 924 00:47:26,625 --> 00:47:27,833 [both grunt] 925 00:47:28,916 --> 00:47:31,000 -[Jeff] Now climb up me. -Okay. 926 00:47:31,083 --> 00:47:32,666 [Pam grunting] 927 00:47:35,041 --> 00:47:37,958 -[Pam pants, grunts] -[Jeff] Oh, no! 928 00:47:38,041 --> 00:47:40,166 [grunts] 929 00:47:40,958 --> 00:47:43,250 [Jeff straining] 930 00:47:43,333 --> 00:47:46,958 [Jeff screams, grunts] 931 00:47:47,041 --> 00:47:48,458 [Jeff] Take my hand. 932 00:47:49,041 --> 00:47:52,541 -[Pam grunts] -[Jeff screams] 933 00:47:52,625 --> 00:47:54,416 [grunts] 934 00:47:54,500 --> 00:47:57,833 ♪ His power ♪ 935 00:47:58,416 --> 00:47:59,875 Get up there. 936 00:47:59,958 --> 00:48:01,875 ♪ And glory ♪ 937 00:48:01,958 --> 00:48:04,666 [both groaning] 938 00:48:04,750 --> 00:48:05,958 Okay. 939 00:48:06,541 --> 00:48:07,541 I'm nearly up. 940 00:48:08,625 --> 00:48:10,541 [both grunt] 941 00:48:11,541 --> 00:48:12,750 [grunts] 942 00:48:12,833 --> 00:48:14,000 [sighs] 943 00:48:16,958 --> 00:48:18,458 [whimpers] 944 00:48:18,541 --> 00:48:19,791 [sighs] 945 00:48:21,625 --> 00:48:23,791 -It's okay, Pam. I-- [screams] -[singing fades] 946 00:48:24,541 --> 00:48:25,750 [grunts] 947 00:48:26,791 --> 00:48:28,000 Oh. 948 00:48:28,083 --> 00:48:29,250 A gate. 949 00:48:31,833 --> 00:48:34,375 [Jeff grunting] 950 00:48:35,916 --> 00:48:36,916 Oh. 951 00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:39,125 [Jeff] A side gate? Really? 952 00:48:39,833 --> 00:48:42,416 I'm sorry, but it's not like you saw the gate either. 953 00:48:42,500 --> 00:48:45,208 [groans] Oh, I'm-- I'm fine by the way. Thank you. 954 00:48:51,916 --> 00:48:53,375 Come on. 955 00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:56,333 [sighs] 956 00:48:59,083 --> 00:49:00,583 -[speaks indistinctly] -[Jeff] What? 957 00:49:04,291 --> 00:49:05,416 [phone beeps] 958 00:49:07,083 --> 00:49:09,625 [choir singing] 959 00:49:09,708 --> 00:49:11,750 Oh. 960 00:49:11,833 --> 00:49:13,708 [Pam] That's our little girl. 961 00:49:13,791 --> 00:49:15,541 [choir continues] 962 00:49:15,625 --> 00:49:17,458 -Try the door. -Okay. 963 00:49:26,125 --> 00:49:30,250 "…the difference being that the clothes are made to fit you, 964 00:49:30,333 --> 00:49:32,000 while you have to be made to fit the tree." 965 00:49:32,083 --> 00:49:34,125 [woman] Better not let your father hear you say that. 966 00:49:34,208 --> 00:49:35,333 Okay, Mom. 967 00:49:35,416 --> 00:49:37,208 [man] "…wanted to with their buckets. 968 00:49:37,291 --> 00:49:40,375 And how ardently they grew to love their…" 969 00:49:44,041 --> 00:49:47,500 -[sighs] The wrong house. That's on me. -Yeah, yeah. I get the sense it was. 970 00:49:47,583 --> 00:49:49,041 Okay, let's just go next door. 971 00:49:49,125 --> 00:49:51,125 That's where he lives. We're gonna check it out. 972 00:49:52,541 --> 00:49:56,000 [both screaming] 973 00:49:58,250 --> 00:50:00,333 We're in a swimming pool! [screams] 974 00:50:00,416 --> 00:50:02,250 We're freezing! [screams] 975 00:50:02,333 --> 00:50:05,333 [Pam] Pulling you up! Come here! [screams] 976 00:50:05,416 --> 00:50:07,708 -[Pam] Come on! -[Pam and Jeff grunting] 977 00:50:07,791 --> 00:50:09,833 -[Pam] What should I do? -Get on my back! 978 00:50:09,916 --> 00:50:11,791 [both groaning, screaming] 979 00:50:14,791 --> 00:50:18,083 [man] "…one step, they leapt into the sky toward Neverland." 980 00:50:18,166 --> 00:50:20,541 Why are man and lady drowning? 981 00:50:20,625 --> 00:50:23,375 No. They're not drowning. They're in the sky flying. 982 00:50:23,458 --> 00:50:26,583 -[Jeff] Okay. -[Pam] I'm up. I'm up. Okay. 983 00:50:28,166 --> 00:50:29,958 Swim. Swim to me. 984 00:50:30,041 --> 00:50:31,125 [Jeff grunts] 985 00:50:31,208 --> 00:50:32,208 [Pam] I got you. 986 00:50:32,791 --> 00:50:34,583 [Pam] Pull you up. Come here. 987 00:50:35,250 --> 00:50:36,791 [both grunting] 988 00:50:36,875 --> 00:50:38,333 [Pam grunts] And you're out. 989 00:50:38,416 --> 00:50:40,875 [both panting] 990 00:50:49,166 --> 00:50:50,583 What are we doing? 991 00:50:51,458 --> 00:50:52,666 I am a teacher. 992 00:50:53,625 --> 00:50:54,833 You're a data… 993 00:50:56,291 --> 00:50:58,958 -[Pam stammers] ...manager. -Migration manager. 994 00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:03,791 Maybe the universe is trying to tell us something, you know? 995 00:51:03,875 --> 00:51:06,166 I mean, maybe we should just cut our losses. 996 00:51:06,250 --> 00:51:07,833 -[Jeff screams] -[Pam grunts] 997 00:51:07,916 --> 00:51:10,208 -[grunts, pants] -[Jeff grunts] 998 00:51:10,291 --> 00:51:13,833 [both grunting, panting] 999 00:51:16,333 --> 00:51:17,333 No. 1000 00:51:18,208 --> 00:51:19,583 We're not giving up. 1001 00:51:20,208 --> 00:51:21,583 We need a W, Pam. 1002 00:51:23,625 --> 00:51:25,041 A win. 1003 00:51:25,625 --> 00:51:26,666 Yeah. 1004 00:51:27,791 --> 00:51:29,250 We do deserve a W. 1005 00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:32,833 We're good people, Pam. 1006 00:51:32,916 --> 00:51:35,750 And we're gonna lose our home because Harry stinkin' Potter 1007 00:51:35,833 --> 00:51:39,583 comes into our house and steals the only thing that can fix our problems. 1008 00:51:40,625 --> 00:51:43,583 No. That's an injustice. 1009 00:51:44,958 --> 00:51:46,875 Yeah. That's not fair. 1010 00:51:46,958 --> 00:51:51,083 And-- And who are we if we give up now? I mean, what do we say to our kids? 1011 00:51:51,166 --> 00:51:53,000 "Oh, sorry we flushed your life down the toilet, 1012 00:51:53,083 --> 00:51:56,000 but life kept smacking us down with klepto kids 1013 00:51:56,083 --> 00:51:59,250 and German grandmothers and the stupid cloud." 1014 00:51:59,958 --> 00:52:02,625 I hate you, cloud. 1015 00:52:02,708 --> 00:52:04,125 Enough is enough. 1016 00:52:04,750 --> 00:52:10,416 Our W, our family's W, is in that house, and we're gonna get it. 1017 00:52:10,500 --> 00:52:13,041 Right now. 1018 00:52:13,708 --> 00:52:15,666 Well, I don't know about right now. Becau-- 1019 00:52:15,750 --> 00:52:17,458 I mean, they could come home at any second. 1020 00:52:17,541 --> 00:52:20,166 Also, my pants are starting to freeze. 1021 00:52:20,250 --> 00:52:21,750 Oh, mine too. 1022 00:52:22,833 --> 00:52:24,000 Like, I don't feel that. 1023 00:52:25,125 --> 00:52:26,333 At all. 1024 00:52:26,416 --> 00:52:30,333 So let's come back later, you know? Like after dinner, after b-bedtime even. 1025 00:52:30,416 --> 00:52:33,791 Midnight, you know? Like after-- after the old lady's gone to sleep. 1026 00:52:33,875 --> 00:52:35,541 Yeah, but what if the kid wakes up? 1027 00:52:35,625 --> 00:52:37,166 You know, kids are always running down 1028 00:52:37,250 --> 00:52:39,375 in the middle of the night to see if Santa came. 1029 00:52:40,708 --> 00:52:42,125 What if I dress as Santa? 1030 00:52:43,333 --> 00:52:45,708 He'll think I'm just Saint Nick. 1031 00:52:45,791 --> 00:52:47,250 But this Santa's gonna be leaving 1032 00:52:47,333 --> 00:52:50,666 with that $200,000 ugly little boy in his sack. 1033 00:52:51,375 --> 00:52:53,416 And that's how we win. [chuckles] 1034 00:52:54,416 --> 00:52:57,708 Okay. Midnight it is, Mr. Claus. 1035 00:53:06,958 --> 00:53:09,958 I'm not spending my best years in some old lady's bedroom. 1036 00:53:10,541 --> 00:53:12,875 -Homebot, search good booby traps. -[Homebot beeps] 1037 00:53:12,958 --> 00:53:17,083 [Homebot] I'm sorry, the parental controls of this system restrict the term "booby." 1038 00:53:17,166 --> 00:53:18,458 Never mind. 1039 00:53:19,958 --> 00:53:22,750 -I love this dress. -Ollie, Ollie, what is that? 1040 00:53:22,833 --> 00:53:24,875 -Hey, did you take that from the church? -Oh? 1041 00:53:24,958 --> 00:53:25,958 What-- 1042 00:53:26,458 --> 00:53:27,708 Oh. 1043 00:53:27,791 --> 00:53:30,916 [chuckling] Mom, Dad, where were you? 1044 00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:32,541 And wha-- what happened? 1045 00:53:32,625 --> 00:53:36,125 A car drove through a puddle and splashed us. 1046 00:53:36,208 --> 00:53:37,625 [Mei] What is-- 1047 00:53:37,708 --> 00:53:39,458 -Yuck. -[chuckles] Imagine that. 1048 00:53:40,291 --> 00:53:41,500 -Ew. -[Hunter] Hmm. 1049 00:53:42,083 --> 00:53:43,958 Well, we should get dinner ready, huh? 1050 00:53:44,041 --> 00:53:45,083 Yeah. 1051 00:53:48,291 --> 00:53:49,791 [airplane dings] 1052 00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:15,291 -Sorry. -Am I looking at your screen? 1053 00:54:15,375 --> 00:54:16,708 -Yes. -Oh, okay. 1054 00:54:16,791 --> 00:54:18,708 -Yes. -I didn't even realize I'm doing it. 1055 00:54:18,791 --> 00:54:20,666 -[chuckles] Classic. -[chuckling] Yeah. 1056 00:54:28,291 --> 00:54:30,291 -Sorry, you're doing it again. -I'm still doing it? 1057 00:54:30,375 --> 00:54:32,416 -Yes. -I just-- I just can't help it, you know? 1058 00:54:32,500 --> 00:54:34,708 This is my screen, and that's your screen, so… 1059 00:54:34,791 --> 00:54:37,708 -No, I know that. I know how screens work. -Yeah. 1060 00:54:38,333 --> 00:54:40,625 You know they got TV and films on there? 1061 00:54:40,708 --> 00:54:43,708 Yep, yep, fully aware. I'm just, um, eager to get home. 1062 00:54:44,291 --> 00:54:46,708 It's like watching a watched pot, though. It's not gonna boil. 1063 00:54:46,791 --> 00:54:49,958 Yeah, well, it might one day. 1064 00:54:50,041 --> 00:54:51,250 Okay. 1065 00:54:51,333 --> 00:54:53,750 -I'll just get some sleep. -Thank you. 1066 00:54:53,833 --> 00:54:56,375 -Would you like some of my blanket? Okay. -No. 1067 00:55:01,833 --> 00:55:04,583 -Sorry. I'm sorry. -Apology accepted. 1068 00:55:09,416 --> 00:55:12,083 So, Mei wanted to spend Christmas in Hawaii this year, 1069 00:55:12,166 --> 00:55:14,375 but I told her, we just gotta suck it up and come here 1070 00:55:14,458 --> 00:55:16,333 because I knew you guys would appreciate it. 1071 00:55:16,416 --> 00:55:17,958 [speaking in German] 1072 00:55:45,458 --> 00:55:47,541 He could be a model, and he's only-- 1073 00:55:47,625 --> 00:55:50,708 -How old are you? Four, right? -[Jeff] Like a runway model? 1074 00:55:50,791 --> 00:55:55,041 [Mei] Any kind of model. They say he has an incredible body for a boy his age. 1075 00:56:24,250 --> 00:56:26,958 ♪ Christmas time, so full of cheer ♪ 1076 00:56:27,041 --> 00:56:29,500 ♪ But not for the children Who live in fear ♪ 1077 00:56:29,583 --> 00:56:32,625 ♪ 'Cause it ain't about gifts and toys ♪ 1078 00:56:32,708 --> 00:56:36,583 ♪ For less fortunate girls and boys ♪ 1079 00:56:53,666 --> 00:56:56,291 [Mei singing] ♪ In a world so full of famine and wars ♪ 1080 00:56:56,375 --> 00:56:59,000 ♪ We all need a little more Santa Claus ♪ 1081 00:57:11,250 --> 00:57:13,125 -Here you go. Just for the kids. -Chris. 1082 00:57:14,166 --> 00:57:16,166 -[Chris and Abby gasp] -No. 1083 00:57:16,250 --> 00:57:18,083 That's not the most expensive thing we bought you. 1084 00:57:18,166 --> 00:57:20,041 [Pam] We can't keep those. Thank you. 1085 00:57:49,875 --> 00:57:51,416 [yawns] 1086 00:57:52,333 --> 00:57:55,125 Oh, look at those snuggly, little elves all ready for bed. 1087 00:57:55,208 --> 00:57:58,041 Only a half-hour left till Christmas. See you in the morning. 1088 00:57:59,250 --> 00:58:01,333 -[footsteps depart] -[door closes] 1089 00:58:17,458 --> 00:58:19,250 Locked and loaded. 1090 00:58:20,125 --> 00:58:21,375 [Pam] Okay, we have a plan. 1091 00:58:21,458 --> 00:58:24,833 If we stick to it, we'll be back before anyone will even notice. 1092 00:58:26,791 --> 00:58:28,750 -Honey, slow down. -[tires screech] 1093 00:58:29,708 --> 00:58:30,916 Babe, slow down. 1094 00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:33,333 I'm trying. It's so icy. 1095 00:58:33,416 --> 00:58:34,541 [Pam] Put on the brakes! 1096 00:58:34,625 --> 00:58:36,875 -Steer into the slide. -No. 1097 00:58:36,958 --> 00:58:40,333 You pump into a slide, and you steer into a skid. 1098 00:58:40,416 --> 00:58:42,000 -Which one is this? -I'm not sure. 1099 00:58:42,083 --> 00:58:43,875 -[tires screech] -[both scream] 1100 00:58:44,958 --> 00:58:46,833 [both yell] 1101 00:58:46,916 --> 00:58:49,208 [Jeff grunts] 1102 00:58:49,291 --> 00:58:50,875 [chuckles] Yes. 1103 00:58:51,375 --> 00:58:55,000 -[both groaning] -[airbags squeal] 1104 00:58:55,083 --> 00:58:57,458 -Okay. -[Jeff] Okay. It's all over. 1105 00:58:58,541 --> 00:59:00,541 -Could've been worse. Could've-- -Yeah. 1106 00:59:00,625 --> 00:59:01,750 [both scream] 1107 00:59:01,833 --> 00:59:03,041 [laughs] 1108 00:59:04,208 --> 00:59:05,375 [sighs] 1109 00:59:10,250 --> 00:59:11,291 [Jeff clears throat] 1110 00:59:11,375 --> 00:59:15,291 Okay. Let's shake that off and focus. 1111 00:59:16,041 --> 00:59:18,208 [Pam] We are doing this. 1112 00:59:18,291 --> 00:59:20,041 [Jeff] We are doing it. 1113 00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:22,666 We'll be in and out before you-- 1114 00:59:22,750 --> 00:59:23,833 -[screams] -[Pam grunts] 1115 00:59:23,916 --> 00:59:24,833 [winces] 1116 00:59:24,916 --> 00:59:27,833 -This is not going well. -[groans] 1117 00:59:28,666 --> 00:59:30,500 I think I shattered my coccyx. 1118 00:59:30,583 --> 00:59:31,750 [Pam grunts] 1119 00:59:31,833 --> 00:59:34,000 -Be careful, Jeff. It's slippery. -[groans] 1120 00:59:34,875 --> 00:59:37,666 -Oh, really? Thanks for letting me know. -[grunts] 1121 00:59:37,750 --> 00:59:41,250 [both grunt, groan] 1122 00:59:42,791 --> 00:59:44,833 [Jeff] I think I've worked out a good method. 1123 00:59:46,791 --> 00:59:47,791 How are you doing? 1124 00:59:47,875 --> 00:59:49,208 [Pam] Good. I'm getting there. 1125 00:59:49,291 --> 00:59:50,875 -I'm gonna make it. -[Jeff grunts] 1126 00:59:51,541 --> 00:59:53,000 All right. I'm doing this. 1127 00:59:53,083 --> 01:00:00,083 -I'm right behind you, babe. [yelling] -One more step and I got [elongated] it. 1128 01:00:00,708 --> 01:00:02,791 -[Jeff] Save me! -Okay. I got you. 1129 01:00:09,375 --> 01:00:10,375 [Jeff groans] 1130 01:00:11,666 --> 01:00:14,041 [shouts] The motion sensor. 1131 01:00:14,125 --> 01:00:16,083 -Hide. -[Jeff] Why is it so bright? 1132 01:00:17,041 --> 01:00:18,000 Why is it so dark? 1133 01:00:18,916 --> 01:00:20,208 [grunts, groans] 1134 01:00:20,291 --> 01:00:21,791 [chuckles] 1135 01:00:26,583 --> 01:00:28,250 [screams, groans] 1136 01:00:28,333 --> 01:00:29,416 [groans] 1137 01:00:29,500 --> 01:00:31,208 Come over here, honey. Come over here. 1138 01:00:31,291 --> 01:00:32,500 -Okay. -Quick, quick. 1139 01:00:32,583 --> 01:00:34,125 [screams, grunts] 1140 01:00:34,208 --> 01:00:35,333 -[Pam] Oh! -[Jeff grunts] 1141 01:00:35,416 --> 01:00:37,291 Yes! [chuckles] 1142 01:00:37,375 --> 01:00:39,666 What's the lumen count on that thing? 1143 01:00:39,750 --> 01:00:41,083 Oh, man. 1144 01:00:41,166 --> 01:00:44,375 Hey, what if they're awake? 1145 01:00:47,166 --> 01:00:48,250 Wait here. 1146 01:00:49,125 --> 01:00:50,208 -[Pam grunts] -[Jeff] Oh. 1147 01:00:50,833 --> 01:00:51,833 [chuckles] 1148 01:00:53,208 --> 01:00:54,583 Now it's re-tangling. 1149 01:00:54,666 --> 01:00:56,166 Go the other way. Now turn. Face. 1150 01:00:56,250 --> 01:00:58,250 -It's getting more wrapped up. -Rotate. 1151 01:00:59,250 --> 01:01:01,208 -[Pam] You're not helping. -[Jeff] Yes, I am. 1152 01:01:01,916 --> 01:01:03,375 -Okay. Yeah, I did it. -Okay. 1153 01:01:07,375 --> 01:01:08,625 I'm going round back. 1154 01:01:16,208 --> 01:01:17,416 Aw. 1155 01:01:24,375 --> 01:01:28,000 [Jeff] "Dear Santa. I tried waiting up for you, but I'm too sleepy. 1156 01:01:28,083 --> 01:01:29,458 Come on in!" 1157 01:01:29,541 --> 01:01:32,458 [chuckles] Aw. 1158 01:01:36,708 --> 01:01:37,708 Mmm. 1159 01:01:42,083 --> 01:01:43,291 [grunts] 1160 01:01:44,625 --> 01:01:46,916 [gags] Milk hot! 1161 01:01:47,625 --> 01:01:49,041 Why milk hot? 1162 01:01:49,125 --> 01:01:50,416 [screams] 1163 01:01:50,500 --> 01:01:52,833 [grunting] 1164 01:01:58,666 --> 01:01:59,708 [soda fizzes] 1165 01:02:02,291 --> 01:02:03,916 [soda bubbles, fizzes] 1166 01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:06,458 [soda bubbling] 1167 01:02:09,666 --> 01:02:12,833 [soda fizzing] 1168 01:02:14,083 --> 01:02:15,750 [soda fizzes] 1169 01:02:16,541 --> 01:02:17,541 Hmm. 1170 01:02:20,166 --> 01:02:22,125 [screaming] 1171 01:02:22,208 --> 01:02:23,125 [laughs] 1172 01:02:24,375 --> 01:02:25,791 Bombs away. 1173 01:02:27,875 --> 01:02:29,625 Stop! Stop! 1174 01:02:29,708 --> 01:02:33,625 [Pam grunting] 1175 01:02:34,208 --> 01:02:37,250 You know, I guess my mum was right. Soda is bad for you. 1176 01:02:37,333 --> 01:02:39,708 Wait! We just want our doll-- [grunts] 1177 01:02:39,791 --> 01:02:41,958 Stop! We can talk. 1178 01:02:42,458 --> 01:02:43,666 [grunts] We just want our-- 1179 01:02:45,750 --> 01:02:46,916 [grunts] 1180 01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:49,291 How the heck do you have so much soda? 1181 01:02:49,375 --> 01:02:52,708 My parents buy in bulk. It's more cost effective. 1182 01:02:54,250 --> 01:02:57,958 And forget about taking this $200,000 ugly boy. 1183 01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:00,416 We're not here to hurt you. 1184 01:03:01,458 --> 01:03:05,708 Please, just calm down, and we can talk about this rationally. 1185 01:03:07,625 --> 01:03:10,000 So easy on the soda, okay? 1186 01:03:10,083 --> 01:03:13,083 Ah. [screams] 1187 01:03:13,166 --> 01:03:16,833 [whimpers] 1188 01:03:16,916 --> 01:03:19,958 [screams] 1189 01:03:20,041 --> 01:03:21,125 [whimpers] 1190 01:03:21,208 --> 01:03:22,625 Ouch! Ouch! 1191 01:03:22,708 --> 01:03:24,833 Ow! Ow! Ooh! 1192 01:03:24,916 --> 01:03:26,791 [grunting] 1193 01:03:26,875 --> 01:03:29,958 [pants] 1194 01:03:38,375 --> 01:03:39,833 [machine beeps] 1195 01:03:43,041 --> 01:03:45,416 [alarm blaring] 1196 01:03:45,500 --> 01:03:46,583 [electronic voice] Alarm! 1197 01:03:48,250 --> 01:03:50,166 One, one, one, two-- 1198 01:03:50,250 --> 01:03:51,250 [groaning, cries] 1199 01:03:51,333 --> 01:03:52,791 -[keypad beeps] -[alarm stops] 1200 01:03:53,791 --> 01:03:56,625 Santa? Is that you? 1201 01:03:56,708 --> 01:03:58,083 [groans] 1202 01:03:58,166 --> 01:04:01,625 Ho! Ho! Ho! How are you, little boy? 1203 01:04:01,708 --> 01:04:03,666 Orange stripe, center pocket. 1204 01:04:03,750 --> 01:04:04,791 No! 1205 01:04:04,875 --> 01:04:05,875 [grunts] 1206 01:04:08,041 --> 01:04:11,625 Ooh! That did not sound right. [chuckles] 1207 01:04:19,916 --> 01:04:20,916 [pants] 1208 01:04:33,625 --> 01:04:37,791 [grunting] 1209 01:04:37,875 --> 01:04:41,083 So hot and so cold at the same time. [cries] 1210 01:04:43,541 --> 01:04:44,541 Jeff? 1211 01:04:45,875 --> 01:04:47,250 Jeff! 1212 01:04:53,041 --> 01:04:54,041 [grunts] 1213 01:04:55,625 --> 01:04:56,791 Where am I? 1214 01:04:56,875 --> 01:05:00,458 -[Jeff gasps] What? This-- [whimpers] -[dogs barking] 1215 01:05:00,541 --> 01:05:02,250 -[Jeff] I'm scared. -[bird shrieks] 1216 01:05:04,541 --> 01:05:05,791 What is this? 1217 01:05:07,166 --> 01:05:08,416 [Jeff groans] 1218 01:05:08,500 --> 01:05:11,750 Okay. I'm okay. I have all my parts. 1219 01:05:13,416 --> 01:05:16,083 [whimpers] 1220 01:05:16,791 --> 01:05:18,708 -Am I dead? Is this dead? -[bird shrieks] 1221 01:05:19,208 --> 01:05:20,083 [gasps] 1222 01:05:20,166 --> 01:05:21,458 [screams, whimpers] 1223 01:05:22,208 --> 01:05:23,875 That's too high! I'm too high. 1224 01:05:23,958 --> 01:05:26,208 [grunts, pants] 1225 01:05:26,291 --> 01:05:28,708 I don't like-- [whimpers] 1226 01:05:28,791 --> 01:05:30,541 Where have you taken me? 1227 01:05:31,250 --> 01:05:32,583 You can do this, McKenzie. 1228 01:05:32,666 --> 01:05:34,916 -[stones fall] -Okay, you just gotta make it across. 1229 01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:36,250 Just one small jump. 1230 01:05:37,500 --> 01:05:39,625 [whimpers] 1231 01:05:39,708 --> 01:05:44,583 One, two, three! 1232 01:05:45,333 --> 01:05:46,458 [groans] 1233 01:05:46,541 --> 01:05:49,000 [laughs] 1234 01:05:49,083 --> 01:05:52,500 [groaning] 1235 01:05:52,583 --> 01:05:53,583 [Pam] Jeff? 1236 01:05:53,666 --> 01:05:55,833 [groans] 1237 01:05:55,916 --> 01:05:57,000 Jeff? 1238 01:05:57,958 --> 01:05:59,083 Jeff! 1239 01:06:00,416 --> 01:06:01,791 [bangs] 1240 01:06:01,875 --> 01:06:04,625 [banging] 1241 01:06:05,208 --> 01:06:06,875 There's something blocking the door. 1242 01:06:06,958 --> 01:06:08,083 [grunts] 1243 01:06:09,458 --> 01:06:11,000 [banging] 1244 01:06:11,083 --> 01:06:12,208 [grunting] 1245 01:06:12,291 --> 01:06:13,416 [sound distorts] 1246 01:06:16,583 --> 01:06:18,125 -[Jeff groans] -[Pam gasps] 1247 01:06:18,208 --> 01:06:20,375 -Oh, honey. -[Jeff groans] 1248 01:06:22,250 --> 01:06:23,708 -[Pam gasps] -[Jeff groans] 1249 01:06:24,875 --> 01:06:26,750 He's hurting me, Pam. 1250 01:06:27,583 --> 01:06:29,875 Me too, baby. Me too. 1251 01:06:31,083 --> 01:06:34,375 Little, limey monster tried to set me on fire. 1252 01:06:34,458 --> 01:06:36,958 Why's he doing this to us, Pam? 1253 01:06:38,208 --> 01:06:40,541 He just told me our 200 grand is getting away. 1254 01:06:40,625 --> 01:06:43,750 He has our doll, and he knows what it's worth. 1255 01:06:43,833 --> 01:06:44,833 [sighs] 1256 01:06:45,375 --> 01:06:46,750 We have to get it back. 1257 01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:50,208 -[joints crack] -[groans] 1258 01:06:52,250 --> 01:06:53,250 [Pam grunts] 1259 01:06:56,750 --> 01:06:57,916 [metal scraping] 1260 01:06:58,666 --> 01:07:00,000 Ow! 1261 01:07:00,083 --> 01:07:03,750 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 1262 01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:09,500 [pants] 1263 01:07:09,583 --> 01:07:10,833 Ow! 1264 01:07:11,875 --> 01:07:15,833 [groans] The Eiffel Tower? Really? [grunts] 1265 01:07:15,916 --> 01:07:17,583 [Legos clattering] 1266 01:07:17,666 --> 01:07:22,375 [grunts] 1267 01:07:25,666 --> 01:07:28,958 [whispers] Don't you dare judge me. I'm doing this for my family. 1268 01:07:34,375 --> 01:07:35,375 [snores] 1269 01:07:35,458 --> 01:07:39,083 [sniffles] 1270 01:07:39,166 --> 01:07:41,291 [snores] 1271 01:07:42,041 --> 01:07:43,583 [Jeff] You learned anything? 1272 01:07:43,666 --> 01:07:46,541 Just that this kid owns a lot of Legos. 1273 01:07:46,625 --> 01:07:48,000 [footsteps] 1274 01:07:48,083 --> 01:07:49,375 [Jeff speaks German] 1275 01:07:49,458 --> 01:07:51,083 [in German] We are coming in… 1276 01:07:52,166 --> 01:07:53,708 [in English] I forgot the word for peace. 1277 01:07:53,791 --> 01:07:55,250 -Yeah, look it up. -Okay, let's see. 1278 01:07:56,041 --> 01:07:59,750 -[Jeff murmurs] -"Pancake." No. "Potato." "Paralysis." 1279 01:07:59,833 --> 01:08:01,375 -[Max] Up here. -[Jeff] Oh, hey. 1280 01:08:01,458 --> 01:08:05,083 Okay. So-- So listen. [stammers] We just wanna talk. 1281 01:08:05,166 --> 01:08:07,208 [screams, grunts] 1282 01:08:07,291 --> 01:08:09,875 Would you just stop and talk to us? 1283 01:08:09,958 --> 01:08:11,541 [screams, grunts] 1284 01:08:11,625 --> 01:08:15,083 -Please! -[speaks German] 1285 01:08:15,166 --> 01:08:17,666 We are coming in Frieden. 1286 01:08:18,458 --> 01:08:19,833 Frieden is peace. 1287 01:08:19,916 --> 01:08:21,875 [Max] Come on up and get me! 1288 01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:24,000 [grunts] 1289 01:08:24,083 --> 01:08:25,083 Ouch. 1290 01:08:25,166 --> 01:08:28,875 [screams, grunts] 1291 01:08:28,958 --> 01:08:31,791 [Pam] He put butter on the stairs. 1292 01:08:31,875 --> 01:08:36,750 Flour, milk and butter. 1293 01:08:36,833 --> 01:08:38,208 He's turning me into a cookie. 1294 01:08:38,291 --> 01:08:40,416 Well, you need sugar for a cookie. 1295 01:08:42,458 --> 01:08:45,666 [groans, cries] 1296 01:08:48,333 --> 01:08:50,791 Who raised this little monster? 1297 01:08:51,958 --> 01:08:53,500 I think we should go back home. 1298 01:08:54,166 --> 01:08:55,750 There is no going back. 1299 01:08:55,833 --> 01:08:57,625 This is who we are now. 1300 01:08:58,416 --> 01:09:00,125 This is the life we've chosen. 1301 01:09:01,750 --> 01:09:03,208 We've gone to the other side. 1302 01:09:08,250 --> 01:09:09,666 You'll never find me. 1303 01:09:11,500 --> 01:09:13,791 [grunts] 1304 01:09:27,125 --> 01:09:30,875 [screams] 1305 01:09:36,708 --> 01:09:39,166 Harry Potter turned me into a pincushion. 1306 01:09:44,583 --> 01:09:47,500 Good job, honey. I'll be right there. 1307 01:09:49,125 --> 01:09:53,458 [groans] 1308 01:09:53,541 --> 01:09:54,541 [grunts] 1309 01:09:55,291 --> 01:09:56,416 Or not. 1310 01:10:00,416 --> 01:10:03,541 [whirring] 1311 01:10:03,625 --> 01:10:04,916 Well, hello. 1312 01:10:13,791 --> 01:10:14,750 Catch. 1313 01:10:16,083 --> 01:10:19,958 Oh, no. You hit me with the incredibly soft yoga ball. 1314 01:10:20,041 --> 01:10:21,583 [grunts] 1315 01:10:22,416 --> 01:10:25,333 [screams] 1316 01:10:25,416 --> 01:10:26,791 [Jeff screams] 1317 01:10:26,875 --> 01:10:31,916 [Pam screams, grunts] 1318 01:10:33,708 --> 01:10:34,708 [sighs] 1319 01:10:36,708 --> 01:10:38,208 Go get him, Jeff. 1320 01:10:38,291 --> 01:10:39,500 [groans] 1321 01:10:41,958 --> 01:10:44,708 [Max] Given up yet? Or are you thirsty for more? 1322 01:10:44,791 --> 01:10:45,958 [breathing heavily] 1323 01:10:46,041 --> 01:10:47,250 [joints crack] 1324 01:10:53,625 --> 01:10:56,791 Eight ball. Your face. 1325 01:11:01,291 --> 01:11:03,500 There's nowhere to run now, little man. 1326 01:11:05,041 --> 01:11:06,458 [Max] We'll see about that. 1327 01:11:10,416 --> 01:11:11,416 See ya. 1328 01:11:16,708 --> 01:11:18,833 Pam, he jumped off the balcony! 1329 01:11:19,750 --> 01:11:20,875 Good. 1330 01:11:21,500 --> 01:11:22,500 [pants] 1331 01:11:24,166 --> 01:11:25,208 The jacket. 1332 01:11:27,625 --> 01:11:29,583 Oh, no. A ladder. 1333 01:11:30,625 --> 01:11:33,458 [chuckles] You really think I'm that stupid? 1334 01:11:42,166 --> 01:11:43,541 [groans] 1335 01:11:44,208 --> 01:11:47,375 Yes. Yes, I do. 1336 01:11:48,000 --> 01:11:51,458 [whispers] Dolly? [pants] 1337 01:11:58,541 --> 01:11:59,541 What? 1338 01:12:00,958 --> 01:12:02,166 [groans] 1339 01:12:04,666 --> 01:12:06,125 Aw. 1340 01:12:10,583 --> 01:12:13,458 That's it. Time's up, little guy. 1341 01:12:20,291 --> 01:12:22,833 [whimpering] 1342 01:12:27,916 --> 01:12:29,791 [whimpers] 1343 01:12:30,416 --> 01:12:33,125 [screams, groans] 1344 01:12:34,166 --> 01:12:35,250 No! 1345 01:12:36,125 --> 01:12:37,541 [whimpers] 1346 01:12:37,625 --> 01:12:41,291 [growls] 1347 01:12:42,416 --> 01:12:43,625 [Pam] That's far enough. 1348 01:12:45,416 --> 01:12:46,916 Well, hello there. 1349 01:12:48,625 --> 01:12:50,458 -[Jeff whimpers] -I'll do it. 1350 01:12:50,541 --> 01:12:53,500 Please, please, please no more pool balls. 1351 01:12:53,583 --> 01:12:55,416 Drop the gun. 1352 01:12:55,500 --> 01:12:58,291 Not a chance. 1353 01:12:58,375 --> 01:13:01,250 -[gun cocks] -I'm not playing around, lady. 1354 01:13:01,333 --> 01:13:04,791 [whimpers] He's not. He-- He shot me with several pool balls tonight. 1355 01:13:04,875 --> 01:13:06,083 Enough! 1356 01:13:06,166 --> 01:13:07,708 This stops here. 1357 01:13:09,291 --> 01:13:11,458 You picked the wrong mom to mess with. 1358 01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:25,250 [screams] 1359 01:13:26,000 --> 01:13:27,208 [screams] 1360 01:13:27,291 --> 01:13:28,916 -[grunts] -[Jeff] Honey, are you okay? 1361 01:13:29,916 --> 01:13:34,000 Please, no more Legos or fire 1362 01:13:34,083 --> 01:13:37,291 or freaking thumbtacks. We just wanna talk. 1363 01:13:37,375 --> 01:13:39,875 Yeah, right. I heard your plan. 1364 01:13:39,958 --> 01:13:42,208 You wanna kidnap "the ugly boy" 1365 01:13:42,291 --> 01:13:45,291 and sell me to some old lady for 200 large. 1366 01:13:45,375 --> 01:13:46,208 What? 1367 01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:48,000 What? [scoffs] 1368 01:13:48,083 --> 01:13:51,791 And I'm not ugly. My mum says I've got character. 1369 01:13:52,958 --> 01:13:54,083 You thought-- 1370 01:13:54,166 --> 01:13:55,458 [stammers] 1371 01:13:55,541 --> 01:13:58,375 Is that why you made this death maze? 1372 01:13:58,458 --> 01:14:00,416 Kid, we just want our doll back. 1373 01:14:00,500 --> 01:14:01,625 What doll? 1374 01:14:01,708 --> 01:14:06,416 The one you stole from our house. The boy with the bad face. The ugly boy. 1375 01:14:06,500 --> 01:14:09,208 That? I didn't steal that. 1376 01:14:10,708 --> 01:14:13,333 I'm ten years old. Why on earth would I want a doll? 1377 01:14:16,625 --> 01:14:21,250 Oh, no. This is bad. 1378 01:14:22,375 --> 01:14:23,583 We did a bad thing. 1379 01:14:24,708 --> 01:14:27,291 One of the worst bads we could've done. 1380 01:14:29,125 --> 01:14:32,291 I think we need to wake up your grandma. 1381 01:14:32,375 --> 01:14:34,875 You wanna call my grandma in England? 1382 01:14:34,958 --> 01:14:38,333 No. The grandma who's staying here. 1383 01:14:39,208 --> 01:14:40,500 From Germany. 1384 01:14:41,250 --> 01:14:42,583 [speaks German] 1385 01:14:43,625 --> 01:14:45,375 My grandma's not staying with me. 1386 01:14:46,375 --> 01:14:47,958 Well, then who is? 1387 01:14:55,875 --> 01:14:58,750 No one. It's just me. 1388 01:15:00,625 --> 01:15:01,750 What? 1389 01:15:01,833 --> 01:15:03,750 Wait, where are your parents? 1390 01:15:06,541 --> 01:15:08,000 Tokyo. 1391 01:15:08,666 --> 01:15:14,041 Oh. Sweetie, I am so sorry. 1392 01:15:14,875 --> 01:15:17,791 If we had known you were staying here by yourself, 1393 01:15:17,875 --> 01:15:20,333 we would've handled things a lot differently. 1394 01:15:21,708 --> 01:15:24,458 We wouldn't have broken into your home even once. 1395 01:15:24,541 --> 01:15:27,583 This was just a huge misunderstanding. 1396 01:15:27,666 --> 01:15:30,625 Now, why don't you just put that heavy gun down? 1397 01:15:31,708 --> 01:15:34,125 Oh, sweetie, come here. 1398 01:15:34,208 --> 01:15:35,708 You're safe now. 1399 01:15:35,791 --> 01:15:37,958 We'll take care of you, okay? 1400 01:15:39,166 --> 01:15:40,458 Okay. 1401 01:15:45,083 --> 01:15:49,750 [all scream] 1402 01:15:49,833 --> 01:15:53,291 [Jeff whimpers, screams] 1403 01:15:54,250 --> 01:15:56,041 [pants] 1404 01:15:56,125 --> 01:15:59,250 Okay, I know what it looks like… 1405 01:16:00,541 --> 01:16:02,875 But that was genuinely an accident. 1406 01:16:02,958 --> 01:16:04,500 Well, I hope so. 1407 01:16:04,583 --> 01:16:06,875 Because-- [screams] No. 1408 01:16:06,958 --> 01:16:10,000 I gotta go take a-- I'm gonna go sit down. 1409 01:16:10,916 --> 01:16:14,625 Okay. Let's call your parents and let them know that you're okay. 1410 01:16:14,708 --> 01:16:17,125 You can stay with us till they get back. 1411 01:16:18,083 --> 01:16:20,541 I'm gonna be in so much trouble. 1412 01:16:20,625 --> 01:16:22,375 [clicks tongue] No, honey. 1413 01:16:22,458 --> 01:16:26,166 Your mom is just gonna be happy to see you. I promise. 1414 01:16:26,250 --> 01:16:27,375 [Jeff] At first. 1415 01:16:27,875 --> 01:16:30,583 But-- But then you'll be in trouble. 1416 01:16:30,666 --> 01:16:32,750 Pretty bad, I would-- I would imagine. 1417 01:16:32,833 --> 01:16:36,541 I think we're all gonna have quite a bit of explaining to do. 1418 01:16:39,125 --> 01:16:44,625 Okay, so, you go to this kid's house, because you think he stole the doll… 1419 01:16:44,708 --> 01:16:46,833 -[stammers] -…and on the way there, you hit a tree, 1420 01:16:46,916 --> 01:16:47,875 which is why… 1421 01:16:47,958 --> 01:16:48,958 Yeah. 1422 01:16:49,041 --> 01:16:51,375 And then when you get to this kid's house, he's home alone? 1423 01:16:52,083 --> 01:16:54,291 -Yes. Pretty much, yeah. Yes. -Mm-hmm. 1424 01:16:54,375 --> 01:16:56,333 [clicks tongue] Wow. 1425 01:16:56,416 --> 01:16:58,333 How about your mom? Have you talked to her? 1426 01:16:58,416 --> 01:17:00,708 Yeah, we called her when she landed. 1427 01:17:00,791 --> 01:17:04,125 She cried happy tears. I didn't even know you could do that. 1428 01:17:04,208 --> 01:17:07,458 So, are we moving? 1429 01:17:13,375 --> 01:17:14,833 I'm sorry, guys… 1430 01:17:16,166 --> 01:17:18,916 But we got an offer on the house, 1431 01:17:19,000 --> 01:17:22,500 and we can't afford not to take it. 1432 01:17:24,791 --> 01:17:26,125 But it's okay, 1433 01:17:26,208 --> 01:17:30,541 because what makes this house so special to us is us. 1434 01:17:31,208 --> 01:17:32,208 Right? 1435 01:17:35,250 --> 01:17:37,000 Your mum speaks a lot of sense. 1436 01:17:38,250 --> 01:17:42,791 Without my mum and dad, my house really didn't feel like home. 1437 01:17:47,416 --> 01:17:51,333 Oh, babe, what if one of those open house poacher people took the doll? 1438 01:17:51,416 --> 01:17:53,208 -Mmm, yes. -Jeff, have you heard about this? 1439 01:17:53,291 --> 01:17:56,458 They just come into your house and take all of your valuables. It's crazy. 1440 01:17:56,541 --> 01:17:58,875 Greta Van Susteren did a thing about it on 60 Minutes. 1441 01:17:58,958 --> 01:18:00,666 -Full hour. Yeah. -Full hour. 1442 01:18:00,750 --> 01:18:02,708 -Who knows? -Greta Van Susteren knows. 1443 01:18:02,791 --> 01:18:06,750 But it's gone now, and, you know, we need to-- 1444 01:18:11,000 --> 01:18:12,166 Ollie? 1445 01:18:13,166 --> 01:18:14,250 Doll. 1446 01:18:15,916 --> 01:18:19,083 Ollie, angel, do not move. 1447 01:18:19,833 --> 01:18:22,541 [speaks Spanish] 1448 01:18:22,625 --> 01:18:28,625 -["Carol of the Bells" playing] -[no audible dialogue] 1449 01:18:44,875 --> 01:18:46,666 [music continues] 1450 01:19:04,791 --> 01:19:06,875 [music continues] 1451 01:19:21,708 --> 01:19:24,208 [music fades] 1452 01:19:24,291 --> 01:19:25,291 [grunts] 1453 01:19:25,916 --> 01:19:27,375 -[groans] -That was incredible. 1454 01:19:27,458 --> 01:19:28,666 [stammers] Are you okay? 1455 01:19:28,750 --> 01:19:29,791 [chuckles] 1456 01:19:29,875 --> 01:19:32,791 Yeah. Yeah, I think we both are. 1457 01:19:33,291 --> 01:19:36,375 Hey, who would've thought Ollie was gonna save the day, right? 1458 01:19:36,458 --> 01:19:39,541 -[Mei] Yay, baby. Good job, my love. -[Hunter] Good job, buddy. 1459 01:19:39,625 --> 01:19:40,708 [doorbell rings] 1460 01:19:42,458 --> 01:19:43,708 [gasps] 1461 01:19:48,833 --> 01:19:49,833 Mum! 1462 01:19:50,791 --> 01:19:52,166 [bag thuds] 1463 01:19:52,750 --> 01:19:55,958 Max. Mmm. 1464 01:19:56,625 --> 01:19:59,875 Oh. I'm so sorry we left you, darling. 1465 01:19:59,958 --> 01:20:05,333 [chuckles] Let me look at you. [laughs] 1466 01:20:05,416 --> 01:20:06,750 You've got a great kid. 1467 01:20:08,666 --> 01:20:11,250 Yeah. Yeah, I really do. 1468 01:20:12,875 --> 01:20:16,000 He's very creative. 1469 01:20:16,083 --> 01:20:20,916 Creative. Yes. He's so creative. 1470 01:20:21,000 --> 01:20:24,083 Thank you. That's nice to, um-- 1471 01:20:24,166 --> 01:20:25,166 Oh. 1472 01:20:26,458 --> 01:20:28,375 Wow, that really was some fender bender. 1473 01:20:28,458 --> 01:20:29,750 -[chuckles] -[Pam] Mmm. 1474 01:20:29,833 --> 01:20:31,291 You should see the tree. 1475 01:20:36,416 --> 01:20:37,916 [gasps] Oh. 1476 01:20:38,000 --> 01:20:39,375 Do-- Do you wanna stay? 1477 01:20:39,458 --> 01:20:40,958 Because we have a lot of eggnog. 1478 01:20:41,041 --> 01:20:42,791 They got more nog than they know what to do with. 1479 01:20:42,875 --> 01:20:45,791 Oh. Uh, uh, thank you, but, uh, no. 1480 01:20:45,875 --> 01:20:47,458 I-- I, um… 1481 01:20:47,541 --> 01:20:50,083 I just wanna get this guy home now. [chuckles] 1482 01:20:50,166 --> 01:20:51,875 Never been so excited to see my house. 1483 01:20:51,958 --> 01:20:53,333 -[Carol chuckles] -Actually-- 1484 01:20:53,416 --> 01:20:55,583 -Yes! Home. -Mm-mmm. 1485 01:20:55,666 --> 01:20:57,500 Home is where the heart is. 1486 01:20:58,250 --> 01:20:59,583 "Sweet Home Alabama." 1487 01:21:00,625 --> 01:21:02,541 Homer's Odyssey . 1488 01:21:02,625 --> 01:21:05,208 -Where do they wind up at the end? -Home. 1489 01:21:05,291 --> 01:21:06,291 Spoiler alert. 1490 01:21:06,375 --> 01:21:08,833 You're probably too young to have read it, but they end up at home. 1491 01:21:08,916 --> 01:21:10,208 [Carol] Yeah, that's lovely. 1492 01:21:10,291 --> 01:21:12,708 -There is no place like home. Thank you. -Thank you. 1493 01:21:14,291 --> 01:21:15,708 Come on, you. 1494 01:21:19,250 --> 01:21:20,541 Merry Christmas, Max. 1495 01:21:21,708 --> 01:21:23,000 Be good. 1496 01:21:23,083 --> 01:21:24,125 You too. 1497 01:21:25,083 --> 01:21:26,916 [Carol] Ooh. I need another hug. 1498 01:21:27,000 --> 01:21:28,000 Aw. 1499 01:21:28,833 --> 01:21:30,250 -I missed you so much. -[Max chuckles] 1500 01:21:30,333 --> 01:21:32,500 [Carol] Hey, I hope the house isn't a mess. 1501 01:21:35,083 --> 01:21:36,625 -[Jeff whispers indistinctly] -Wow. 1502 01:21:38,875 --> 01:21:40,416 -[Jeff groans] -Wow. 1503 01:21:40,500 --> 01:21:43,250 -She must be so happy to finally be home. -Yeah. 1504 01:21:45,541 --> 01:21:50,208 Because I guess home is just another word for family, right? 1505 01:21:50,291 --> 01:21:52,541 So, does that mean we get to stay here? 1506 01:21:57,416 --> 01:21:59,875 -Yeah, sweetie. It does. -[Chris] Yes. 1507 01:21:59,958 --> 01:22:02,125 -Yeah. -[Pam chuckles] 1508 01:22:02,750 --> 01:22:04,208 -[Chris chuckles] -[grunting] 1509 01:22:04,291 --> 01:22:07,958 Mommy's ribs. Mommy's ribs are sore. 1510 01:22:08,041 --> 01:22:09,541 So glad they're not poor anymore. 1511 01:22:09,625 --> 01:22:11,708 -It made me so uncomfortable. -It was so awkward. 1512 01:22:12,541 --> 01:22:14,375 Hey, what do you say we open some presents? 1513 01:22:14,458 --> 01:22:15,750 -[Chris gasps] Yes! -Yes! 1514 01:22:17,250 --> 01:22:19,583 -[Abby] Can I open the big one? -[Chris] Oh, my gosh! 1515 01:22:19,666 --> 01:22:21,583 -Merry Christmas. -Merry Christmas. 1516 01:22:21,666 --> 01:22:23,166 -[Abby] I call opening first. -Me first. 1517 01:22:23,250 --> 01:22:25,291 [Pam] Okay, guys. One at a time. 1518 01:22:25,375 --> 01:22:27,041 -[Chris] Thank you, Dad. -[Abby] Thank you. 1519 01:22:27,125 --> 01:22:28,125 I love it. 1520 01:22:28,208 --> 01:22:29,416 [all laugh] 1521 01:22:29,500 --> 01:22:31,541 [Carol] You wouldn't believe how much I missed you. 1522 01:22:31,625 --> 01:22:34,000 It's just gonna be two of us for Christmas, hey? 1523 01:22:34,083 --> 01:22:35,958 -That'll be nice, won't it? -Mm-hmm. 1524 01:22:36,041 --> 01:22:37,541 [Carol] Oh, dear. What a day. 1525 01:22:38,291 --> 01:22:39,458 [Carol grunts] 1526 01:22:39,541 --> 01:22:41,041 -Home sweet home. -[machine beeps] 1527 01:22:49,708 --> 01:22:52,166 -There's a very reasonable explanation. -[cracking] 1528 01:22:58,500 --> 01:23:00,500 [chattering, laughing] 1529 01:23:00,583 --> 01:23:02,750 [Carol] I think he looks like a little politician. 1530 01:23:02,833 --> 01:23:04,875 -[Max] Mum, please. -[Katie] He looks like a politician. 1531 01:23:04,958 --> 01:23:08,333 [Abby] Part of it's the sweater vest. He does look like a politician. 1532 01:23:08,416 --> 01:23:10,958 -I like it. I actually like it. -Mum. 1533 01:23:11,041 --> 01:23:14,583 -I don't even know anything about… -Okay, everybody, time to eat. 1534 01:23:14,666 --> 01:23:16,583 Oh, this looks incredible. 1535 01:23:16,666 --> 01:23:19,791 Thank you so much, and the house looks so beautiful. 1536 01:23:19,875 --> 01:23:21,708 Oh, don't thank me. 1537 01:23:21,791 --> 01:23:22,916 Thank that creepy doll. 1538 01:23:23,000 --> 01:23:27,125 Selling that paid for everything. Our mortgage, our trip to Europe… 1539 01:23:27,208 --> 01:23:29,083 And your new chandelier. 1540 01:23:29,166 --> 01:23:31,416 -[Carol] Thank you. -And don't forget the drywall. 1541 01:23:31,500 --> 01:23:32,500 Oh, yeah. Well-- 1542 01:23:32,583 --> 01:23:35,583 I always thought the house could've done with a little remodeling anyway. So… 1543 01:23:35,666 --> 01:23:39,291 Keep it on those settings, Terry. All right. Take it easy. All right. Sorry. 1544 01:23:39,375 --> 01:23:41,375 Sorry, everybody. That was work. Apologies. 1545 01:23:41,458 --> 01:23:42,666 On Christmas Day? 1546 01:23:42,750 --> 01:23:46,416 Jeff has been promoted to District Manager. 1547 01:23:46,500 --> 01:23:48,791 There's no Christmas for the cloud, Mike. 1548 01:23:48,875 --> 01:23:50,333 The cloud never sleeps. 1549 01:23:50,416 --> 01:23:53,416 And I provide 24-7 cloud management services. And that includes-- 1550 01:23:53,500 --> 01:23:55,041 [clears throat] Dad. 1551 01:23:55,541 --> 01:23:56,666 Oh. 1552 01:23:56,750 --> 01:23:57,916 Let's make a toast. 1553 01:23:58,000 --> 01:24:01,083 -Yes. -Oh, um, can I get one of those? 1554 01:24:06,000 --> 01:24:08,125 You know, they're quite sugary. 1555 01:24:08,208 --> 01:24:09,875 I think we should let him have the soda. 1556 01:24:10,958 --> 01:24:12,708 Remember what happened last time? 1557 01:24:12,791 --> 01:24:14,458 [all laugh] 1558 01:24:17,000 --> 01:24:18,666 -There you go, buddy. -Thanks. 1559 01:24:18,750 --> 01:24:20,916 -Huh? Oh. [chuckles] -[all laugh] 1560 01:24:21,000 --> 01:24:22,166 Cheers. 1561 01:24:23,666 --> 01:24:24,958 To new friends. 1562 01:24:25,041 --> 01:24:27,083 -And family. -Mmm. 1563 01:24:27,166 --> 01:24:29,791 And me having no permanent neurological damage. 1564 01:24:29,875 --> 01:24:32,500 -[all laugh] -Yeah, that's good. 1565 01:24:32,583 --> 01:24:36,083 And here's to Max for bringing us all together. 1566 01:24:36,666 --> 01:24:37,833 Merry Christmas, everybody. 1567 01:24:37,916 --> 01:24:39,708 -Merry Christmas! -[Mike] Cheers. 1568 01:24:39,791 --> 01:24:42,083 -[Carol] Merry Christmas, darling. -[chattering] 1569 01:24:42,166 --> 01:24:43,500 Merry Christmas. Cheers, darling. 1570 01:24:44,625 --> 01:24:47,291 -[Jeff] Merry Christmas, everyone! -[glasses clinking]